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On Soberistas today;

"Alcohol made me think of nothing else but drinking. I would shake. I would hate myself. I spent a ridiculous amount of energy hiding everything and to try and pretend I was fine. I''ve had periods of attempted moderation. I''ve had periods when I''ve just binged. I cut down over a period of years but although the volume of units was less, the effects on my mental health were worse. I''ve wandered around Cambodia and Vietnam off my head and I''m a bit surprised I survived at all. I''m an alcoholic and I hate alcohol and I''m 1000 days sober." 

"If you ever feel 'boring' or 'rebellious' or whatever about your drinking, take a step back and breathe in that perspective. It's all just fashion, baby. We do what we're conditioned to do. What we see others doing. There's not actually as much free-will/ free-spirit as we think. Conversely, if you look at the huge marketing spend on adverts where booze shows anything from glossy sophistication to cozy bonding by the fire with a loved one - you start to wonder how conscious the 'choice' was to drink." 

Plus catch up on all our latest feature articles: 
"But one commonality of the virus's effects upon the global population is the way in which it has threatened our ability to live in the present - we have, so many of us, become people who live almost permanently in the future; "When will a vaccine be ready?", "Will my holiday be cancelled?", "What should we do about Christmas?" And more and more questions. a relentless and repetitive river of worry and anxiety about what we might be facing around the corner." 

And finally, you can enter our competition to win one of ten copies of Sue Woolley's fabulous new book, One Foot In Front Of The Other, and read an extract on Soberistas now; "For a moment she couldn't remember why she had drunk so much. Then it all came flooding back. She had blacked out at the writing conference. She had read of such things, but it had never happened to her. Why would it? She was not a serious drinker, after all." 

Wishing you a happy and healthy week ahead,

Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;
 
"After listening to Lucy talk on Woman''s Hour last August about mums who drink too much and have to visit lots of different local shops to hide their consumption, I thought, ''crap, that''s me!'' I thought Soberistas was about people wanting to ''cut down'' alcohol, not cut it out and I thought I could do that by myself. After years of struggling with moderation and beating myself when I inevitably failed, I managed to join here. There was no massive rock bottom, I just planned to stop drinking in the month leading up to a particularly long-time-coming court case (divorce), as I knew I needed to be strong." 
  
"Very occasionally, I still get the odd annoying moment when the Wine Witch whispers in my ear "Wouldn't it be nice to have a lovely ice-cold glass of white wine. You've proved yourself now - you can just drink 'normally' and on special occasions.'. This is my addict self. I have trained myself, like Pavlov's dog, to think immediately of the 3:00am horrors whenever the WW pops up and POUF, she's gone. NO glass of wine and fleeting hit of artificially-induced euphoria could ever, ever be worth trashing my precious sobriety for." 
 
"It's no coincidence that each yearly snapshot had alcohol featured in it. What stands out to me is how much my life seriously revolved around alcohol. Not just the drinking, but the planning and preparation. I remember a heroin user explaining to me that it wasn't just the drug use that was addictive, it was the ritual associated with it that was just as powerfully addictive and all consuming. I get that!" 
 
And finally, we've just announced our May choice for the Soberistas Book Club - visit the Book Club now for details of ''The Switch'' by Beth O'Leary. 
 
Wishing you a happy, healthy and safe weekend,
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 
 
PS. Happy Birthday to Sean of Soberistas! Sean works super hard behind the scenes of Soberistas to keep things running smoothly and today he celebrates his birthday in the midst of social distancing and lockdown. Sending you lots of virtual Soberistas birthday fun and best wishes, Sean! 

On Soberistas today;
 
"I forgive myself, wholeheartedly. I say to the parts of my soul that are still slightly bruised, I am here for you and I will take care of you. I am being reacquainted with myself in a new way, and reconnecting with the magic inside me. Those memories where I feel deeply rooted in myself, or thoughts where I am inspired, are no longer drowned out by shame and regret. Not if I don''t let that in." 
  
"Maybe it is a time not to "do"? Maybe it is a time to mostly just be. Uncertainty is frightening, but really, any certainty about what will happen tomorrow or next week is always an illusion. We only ever have now. How is your "now"? I hope it is good. I have sparkling water (yay soda stream), I have a fire, a blanket, a body satisfyingly aching from the run and two very happy dogs, lying beside me, and I have you guys! One of my favorite quotes seems very apt for these times: "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms-to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."  ? Viktor E. Frankl, Man''s Search for Meaning" 
  
".there is a real possibility we are going to be stuck at home.....bored, tempers fraying, possibly kids off school (oh how I love my kids but being off with them on lockdown waaaahhhh!) lots of time on our hands, all sports and activities cancelled and I am NOT one of these mums that does home craft stuff....I just see that as ideal trigger territory for us all. Plus the wine witch will have a trump card won''t she? Oh well we might all die anyway so you might as well drink....No actually if I had one evening with my family I wouldn''t spend it on an artificial high zoned out from them all." 
 
Wishing you a happy and healthy week ahead,
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;
 
"I used alcohol to swallow this lie. Alcohol allowed me to choke it down without feeling the intense pain of it. "Yes, I'm unlovable, but I don't care!" But alcohol lied to me too. Turns out, it didn't silence the lie. As time went by, it started to amplify the voice of my self-loathing. As the alcohol fuelled my self-hatred and my fears, I began to act out the punishments I felt I deserved." 
  
"At some point, I started to get it. I began surrendering to the idea I can't moderate my drinking. Somewhere along the line my moderation button broke. My sober stints began to make more sense and I got a taste of what life could be like without my dear friend, wine. Suddenly alcohol started getting in the way of living my life. I didn't have to work out and run with a dreadful hangover. I could enjoy my morning coffee, wake up each morning refreshed. I could trade beating myself up daily for peace and calm." 
 
"Anyone who has read any of my other blogs will know that I've had long periods of sobriety before...a year, 6 months, 9 months but always gone back to drinking. The difference now is that I know this is my choice, my decision, to not drink, not to please anyone else, not because I'm being told I have to, not because others are trying to stop me, just because I know this is what I want to do, that I want to live a better life. I know I can never become complacent but that's ok, learning what has triggered me in the past and how to deal with it better, is an ongoing process and it's all part of living a better and happier life." 
 
And finally, our newly announced Book of the Month for September is Bryony Gordon's Glorious Rock Bottom - see the Book Club now for details and your chance to win a free copy! 
 
Wishing you a happy and healthy weekend,
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;

"The effect on my sleep was another reason - ugh the 2 or 3am morning wakening followed by hours of tossing and turning, drifting in and out of a restless sleep, mind going round like a washing machine, recycling all the same thoughts and nagging worries. As I have got older, I have less ability to tolerate even moderate levels of alcohol. I''ve moaned to my other half about how unfair it is that I just have no tolerance now but maybe I should see it as a good thing as it''s motivating me to get rid of this toxic substance from my system once and for all." 

"Today is my 6 year soberversary. I remember exactly how I felt 6 years ago today and if I choose I can remember many bad years leading up to me becoming sober. I absolutely believe I would never have stopped drinking were it not for this amazing site and the support I received here. If you have just stopped drinking, or perhaps have a few weeks or months under your belt, know that when I say that the guilt, shame, worries, poor relationships, physical and mental issues that you are probably still carrying with you will completely evaporate, as long as you do not pick up a drink." 

"Just like with sobriety - KOKO - take one day at a time. Do not look too far into the future. hold onto the Whys. Know the choices made at the time came from a place of reality/ they came for a good reason. Put yourself first. You are the most important person. Love yourself enough to know you are doing the right thing, even though it is scary and lonely at times. This too will pass." 

Plus, read the latest post from our regular writer, The Secret Counsellor, for musings on lockdown and excellent advice for staying afloat through all the current challenges: "Acknowledge your emotions, but recognise that they are messengers not threats. You don't need to DO anything and you certainly don't need to consume anything to "fix" them; often the only way out is through. Just know that you will probably feel better in a couple of hours and even if you don't, you almost certainly will by the next day." 

Wishing you a happy and healthy week ahead,

Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;

"Over these last 90 days, I have been given a wonderful chance - the chance to live again. I am craving new ideas and new experiences, I am loving learning, I am revelling in the beauty of the place I live; I have more energy, I sleep better, my body is happier and more resilient; the small joys of daily life - good coffee (this is HUGE, of course), fantastic food, sunshine, exercise - are all enhanced, brighter, shinier, more intense. If alcohol is a slow progression towards the grave, being sober feels as if I have been given a brilliant new childhood - I am living in the moment (mostly, or trying to!), making new discoveries and every day has potential." 

"By that summer of 2018 my drinking had become heavy, regular and habitual. I was drinking 5-6 nights a week, always a bottle of wine and sometimes more. I was sneaking bottles in and out, hiding how much I was drinking from my family and had started to avoid going to things where I would have to grit my teeth and moderate, preferring to stay at home and 'relax'. My husband had 'had a word' on a few occasions and - mortifyingly - so had my youngest daughter." 

"It is interesting now to look back on the events of that day. It could have been worse. It could have been SO MUCH WORSE; I could have ruined his marriage, I could have been attacked on the way home, so many awful things could have happened, and didn''t. But still it ranks up there with one of my worst. Why? Because of how I felt. The self destruct button had been totally detonated, and I just didn''t care about anything. I had no self respect, no self care, no desire to look after myself. I just wanted to be shitfaced, to make the world stop. I hated myself so much. I just wanted it all to stop." 

And finally, don't forget to enter our competition to win a free copy of our October Book of the Month, Sunday Times bestseller, ''Us Three'' by Ruth Jones - see the Book Club now for details and to enter. 

Wishing you a happy and healthy weekend,

Lucy and the Soberistas Team x

On Soberistas today;
 
"I have cried in the bath, even overdosed and been admitted to hospital and felt that I was trapped in a never ending revolving door of drink/ give up/ drink again. I not only had no sense of self worth but I felt I deserved this rather pitiful existence. Gone were the halcyon days of enjoying alcohol; my drinking was aimed at blotting out all negative emotion by tipping one of the most depressive, addictive substances known to man down my throat. I knew somewhere in my befuddled brain that my family could never understand my need for the booze so I became the very best liar and hider of bottles that could have existed." 
 
"So I made it to my 100 days and realized that I didn't want the feeling of being healthier to end. I didn't want to risk making OH depression get worse again; didn't want to add hangxiety back into the mix of my already existing tendency to feel anxious and worry; that I was grateful not to have the headaches and nausea and feeling of self-hatred and didn't want that to start again; that I wanted that feeling of getting into bed on Fridays and Saturdays sober and calm to continue; that I wanted that waking up on weekend mornings with my smug of coffee and giving myself the best possible chance of getting out and running..." 
 
"I think for me it was just the right time. I had been living through a period of cognitive dissonance about the place alcohol held in my life for a long time. I started questioning the fact that I seemed to need a glass of wine every single night about ten years before I finally quit. For the final couple of years of my drinking life, I''d read about how to moderate and how to quit drinking "the easy way", yet none of it seemed to be sticking. I had suffered through so many hangovers and moments of self-disgust that I was finding it really hard to even look at myself in the mirror anymore. It wasn''t only that I was puffy, with limp and lifeless hair and bloodshot eyes, but also that I had somehow lost all respect for myself." 
 
Wishing you a happy and healthy week ahead,
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;

"...let me tell you - what a joy it is. Life without booze is nothing but fantastic - I was up early, a deep 8 hours sleep on me, leisurely coffee and news hour, chat with a child. Now another child is dropping the Christmas tree off and we'll be hanging lights and drinking hot chocolate - one tradition we can still manage to pull off. All of this Saturday is mine - no witch can steal it from me and I don't even have to think about that anymore." 

"I ran into the bathroom and turned on the faucet, realizing this may be bad in the morning, yet I still did not want anyone to know - because who grabs a hot metal pan out of the oven with bare hands? My burn blistered, pretty bad and is now a nice little reminder to me that YES, I really did have a big problem with drinking, and that I can never go back to that. The amount of shame, secrets, pretending, hiding, lying, feeling like crap and not telling anyone was overwhelming when I was drinking and I am soooo happy to be 2.75 years away from that! I also never want to feel that lost and hopeless ever again." 

"The cheeky card is from my 26 year old daughter who spent half her life helping me upstairs every night after I passed out drunk. To everyone who is struggling, you can do this! I stopped drinking just before Christmas on 5th December 2018. Take one day at a time, be kind to yourself and stay connected to our wonderful tribe of inspirational men and women. Remember you are absolutely worth it! Soberistas and all of you incredible people changed my life (and my children's lives) when I found you all 2 years ago." 

And finally, tomorrow is the closing date for our Book Club monthly competition. To be in with a chance of winning a paperback copy of our festive book choice, This Time Next Year, visit the Soberistas Book Club now and click on Enter Competition. Good luck!  

Wishing you a happy and healthy week ahead,

Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;
 
"One year on, having taken the choice to join Soberistas and commit to the 100-Day Challenge, I'm finally here. As I said in my last blog, my son was and still is a major inspiration to me. He told me to do a year and I have. We've made me a cake which I'm going to fill with cream and strawberries and eat later today. I've read all the quit lit, listened to the podcasts, met up with Istas in real life and made some amazing friendships. None of this would be possible without sobriety. So, it really is a gift." 
 
"Since I stopped drinking 4 years ago (or indeed 1500 days ago today!) I have become a little obsessed with sunrises. Maybe it's because I never saw them, or if I did it would be a 'oh god it's sunrise and I'm not home' kind of thing. Now I just can't get over the insane, ridiculous, beautiful, stunning promise of a new day. I didn't get my soberversary sunrise this year because of Covid, so I'm beyond happy to get one today. There was a storm last night, and it's still pretty windy, but it was just magical." 
 
"And then I realized that the only thing getting in my way was me. I was trading all of my dreams for a couple of hours of oblivion. And I was doing it over, and over, and over again. And then I cut the corner off of that plastic bag, and I dumped the remainder of its contents down the drain. It was so liberating! I was elated! The rest of my day was one of the best days I have had in a very long time, and instead of counting down the hours until ''wine ''o clock', I was able to enjoy each hour for exactly what it was. There were problems, yes, but I was filled with hope for a better future. And this hope carried me through the day and into the evening with a smile on my face." 
 
And just a reminder that you can send your alcohol-related questions to the Soberistas doctor by using the form on the Ask the Doctor page. We'll publish all questions and answers received by midnight BST on August 24^th at the beginning of September (you'll remain fully anonymous). 

Wishing you a healthy and happy weekend,
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;

"I NEVER want to return to that awful, guilt ridden, depressing, sickly state of living again! So what made me stop? I had a variety of scary symptoms. I would have heart flutters. Trying to complete simple chores like making the bed would exhaust me. I gained 60 lbs. I lost contact or burned relationships with friends due to constant cancellations, so I could stay home to get drunk. I misspoke and mixed up words constantly." 

"And although life still of course has its ups and downs I can walk steady on my path, knowing I always have my sobriety as a bedrock underneath me. I can keep myself safe, I have my own back. I never want to live any other way now. I just wanted you to know that. And more than anything I want you to know that one day you will put down your last drink and then you will never, ever, ever have to feel the way you do right now again." 

"It can take a lot of mental energy to simply hold your ground. To carve out space. I think we can sometimes forget that being sober in a world where every woman and her dog is drinking IS an effort. Rather than congratulating you like they would if you quit smoking, you're far more likely to get a wheedling: Can't you just have one? And that's really the point of this blog. To give everyone a massive pat on the shoulder and say: you're doing great, keep bloody going. Including myself. I love being sober. I love being different, although most of the time I don't feel "different" - I just feel like myself." 

Wishing you a happy and healthy weekend,

Lucy and the Soberistas Team x

PS. Don't forget, all Soberistas subscribers get money off a range of healthy lifestyle products and services at the Soberistas Discount Club. Get all your exclusive discounts here. 

On Soberistas today;
 
"In the beginning, you have to set yourself a goal and fully accept that getting to that goal is going to suck, and not let the fact that it does suck change your decision. Once you sign up to the fact that the decision you have taken to go X days without booze is going to feel agonisingly wrong for a lot of the time, you're not blindsided by the cravings when they come. You can observe the screeching discomfort washing through your body and mind in waves, but because you were expecting it, it loses much of its power." 
  
"I have worked so hard this week in order to take Friday as a day's holiday. In order to 'celebrate this, and to 'relax', my engrained behavior now would be to drink more than a normal weekday night. Why would I do this as I always wake up feeling terrible on the morning of my hard earned holiday, and so the day gets wasted and is full of regret? I am retraining my brain to focus on how good I will feel tomorrow, how productive the day will be and how much more I will enjoy it." 
 
"It took me a long time to do this but I''m now "out" as sober on social media, I think I did it on my 2nd soberversary. People knew me as the party girl so I guess were a bit surprised but you know what, I was OVER living a double life. I'd lived a double life for so long, pretending I was holding it all together when I was a drunken mess. So what if they thought I was an alcoholic or I had trouble with booze? They would be right." 
 
"Sobriety takes work. Like any skill from playing piano to baking, from knitting to algebra, from speaking German to surfing. I mean, we all put a shitload of work into perfecting our drinking, right? Is it any wonder it takes practice to remain sober and sometimes you want a break? And this is where the support network kicks in." 
 
Wishing you a happy, safe and healthy weekend, 
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;

"I'm brimming to the top with intense wellbeing - full of sleep, full of health, full of feeling loved. My life has expanded from the little pinprick of life it was when I was drinking to a vast and ever expanding openness to endless possibilities. There is joy in everything now - the smallest of pleasures to the biggest of happenings." 

"Today it's a year since I drank alcohol, a year of ups and downs, both in my family and in the world. It's not been the easiest of times, but in that year, I have learnt to forgive myself for the behaviours and mistakes made in the past. I look back over the years and see me being an arse at a function in London and being carried off the dance floor, me being embarrassing at a school PTA dance and yes, being carried off the dance floor. I remember the shame and horror I felt the next day and I think it took me years to recover from that. I remember being so hungover at my mother's funeral that I had to go and sleep in the car during the wake." 

"My partner is a normal drinker, and it can be so hard to not join him, especially when he''s my only in-person social interaction these days. I even had a few nights with wine that felt ok and like I didn''t overdo it. But it''s such a slippery slope, and I''m back to feeling like I''m on the edge of feeling "out of control". I hate that feeling more than anything. I loved how I felt off of alcohol for so long and going days without even thinking about it at all, and I want that feeling back so badly. I have to remember that for more than a year and a half, not drinking at night became my default setting and it can be that way again." 

Wishing you a happy and healthy weekend,

Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;
 
"Somewhere along the road, I'm not really sure where, I learnt that alcohol could help manage the daily anxiety I felt. I subconsciously accepted that after a couple of glasses in the evening, I would feel the best I had all day. After time, I tried to combat my anxiety by attending counselling. It was then that I was diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety and Panic disorder but I never mentioned alcohol to my counsellor. They never mentioned it to me either, which retrospectively surprises me. At the time, I didn't realise that my drinking (albeit only a couple of glasses a night) was only feeding my anxiety, pushing me to the limits of what was manageable and causing these panic attacks." 
 
"Then of course the money saved.... ?3000. Again, a conservative calculation. I didn't factor in the humongous rounds of drinks bought when I was drunk, the lunches we had purely for an excuse to drink at lunch time, the taxis, or the wine clubs I joined to convince myself I was a wine enthusiast and so it was ok to neck it like it was fruit juice. I didn't factor in the gift bags and greetings cards bought from the corner store to accompany my bottle of wine "for a friend''s birthday", or the pizza and bag of family sized crisps with white wine for a "mid week girls night in"." 
  
"The past two years have not been easy. I have left a job which has defined me, my relationship with my partner is poor but....I am not drinking. I imagine what my life would be like this week during the COVID 19 crisis. I would be constantly thinking how I could ensure I would never run out of wine. How could I hide how much wine I''m ordering? Which bins could the empties go in? The planning, the stress. I would be drinking heavily and shamefully. I would wake up each morning ''tired'', wondering what I''d said or done. But I''m not." 
 
Wishing you a happy and healthy weekend,
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 
 
PS. Don't forget our webinar on Monday 6 April at 8pm BST. This is a free webinar open to everyone and I'll be sharing tips and strategies for getting through this challenging time alcohol-free. Hope to see you there! Click here to register.

On Soberistas today;

"It would all be fine and dandy maybe tonight, maybe next time I drank, until it wasn't. And then the slurring would start and the falling over and the bad decisions. I could already picture the disappointment in my husband''s face the next day. And the shame and guilt the next morning that would linger for days. All for a couple of hours of "letting loose" and "celebrating". Not worth it. That is not fun, alcohol takes my light if I let it in. It''s a gamble with my self-esteem I am no longer willing to take." 

"My mood is so low today, I feel physically wiped out. I look on Instagram to see the friend had continued on to another booze fest last night. She put a picture of herself hungover and another of her in a very drunken state. Something clicked. I don''t want to be like that. It''s embarrassing. It''s not funny. I want to be like I am in my pictures of sober weekends. On the beach with my dogs and son. Not laying on the couch nursing the hangover from hell while I allow him to play PlayStation all day." 

"I realized my main motivation for wanting to drink was being pissed off about other people drinking. So why the hell was I going to get drunk?! To reinforce our shared addiction? Prove to them I was weak enough to give in? That being sober wasn't all it was cracked up to be? When really... it's just that my expectations didn't meet reality. I dared to hope that our definition of 'dry' was universal. So I can stop hoping, keep internalizing resentment and discontent and end up drinking. Or remember how I felt in the early days and how scary this all was. Be glad they are at least curious about sobriety, and LET IT GO." 

Wishing you a happy and healthy week ahead,

Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;
 
"I took tiny, tiny, baby steps. One moment at a time. I found new things to do - I threw myself into new hobbies, events, activities...I started running, finding that exercise was the only thing to ease my horrendous anxiety. I literally forced myself to breathe through the fear and panic and cravings. I was utterly, 100% belligerent about not drinking and I was determined that whatever happened, I would not drink. I just needed to find better and different ways of coping. And above it all, I WOULD NOT BE BORING. Wine was not going to beat me." 
 
"Prepare to dig deep at times - when those cravings come or you you get the old 'I wasn't that bad really' feeling - recognise it for what it is. It's your addictive voice trying to tempt you back. Stamp it out. Read inspiring blogs you''ve bookmarked or get on here and blog it out yourself. Get in touch with a sober buddy - if you don't have one, reach out to someone whose voice resonates with you on here - connection is everything! Play it forward, know how it will end. Go for a walk/run. Clean your teeth. Have a beautiful bubble bath with a good book. Oh and cake, lots of cake! Promise yourself that you will only pick up that drink once you've exhausted all these things. That has saved me on more than one occasion." 
 
Plus, you can now read all the latest feature articles too, including this short story from regular writer Jacqueline Gregory and this candid account of quitting drinking, in Irene's Story - "But your inhibitions are there for a reason; they are there to keep you safe. It's not like you can pick which inhibitions to have and which to relax on, it was either all or nothing. My personality is a bit like that, all or nothing." 
 
Wishing you a happy, safe and healthy weekend,
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;

"Tomorrow will be 100 days for me! I can't quite believe it... I have tried hundreds of times to quit drinking and never managed more than a few weeks. I do think the experience I had in the summer was the final kicker for me. One of the biggest surprises I've had is that I actually don't want to drink any more. I thought that forever more I would be itching to tear a glass of wine out of a friend's hand every time I went out with them, but quite honestly, I'm not! When I see the same friends with their hangovers the next day I feel so so sorry for them and I just know that I'm doing the right thing. I don't want to be naive, I'm sure I will have the urge to drink again, but I am prepared now." 

"One of the top arguments that my "voice" uses that results in me drinking is the "I''m just not that bad" argument or some version of it - I''m not a heavy drinker, It''s just a couple of glasses a few times a week , give yourself a break, etc etc etc. But here''s the thing: "not that bad" just doesn''t feel good. I don''t feel well. I feel unhealthy." 

"This milestone is a significant point in my sober development, my journey. But, it is just that, a point, a recognition of time passed; not an end. It deserves celebration and Dam it I will celebrate as much as Covid allows, but with the mindset that this journey continues tomorrow, and the next day and the next. I am fortunate to have found this site and to have found some amazing wonderful people to share this sober life with. If you are new to sobriety, I hope you look at my 2000 days and know that you will be here someday, trust me, you will. Believe in yourself, stay close to this site, heed the wisdom of others that will guide you. Celebrate each milestone, they are all part of your journey." 

Wishing you a happy and healthy week ahead,

Lucy and the Soberistas Team x

On Soberistas today;

"My eyes have gone from puffy slits to bordering on Bette Davis! As observed by my colleague, they are round, alert, with bright white whites, and they are a vivid aquamarine blue. I''m no longer embarrassed to leave the house without mascara on. My face isn''t puffy and red, and my lips aren''t bright red and chapped anymore. I have lost several pounds, and my clothes fit nicely. I enjoy getting dressed in the morning!" 

"If the thought of being sober forever is too much of a big, scary beast that you can't quite get your head around, or perhaps you can't yet square it with being a rebel, take it easy. Be sober just for today. You can worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Taking it one day at a time will definitely help you in the early days, if only to avoid your burning desire to rebel against the enormity of it all. So for now, just put one foot in front of the other. Do the next right thing. Remember why drinking today is a bad idea, and just get yourself through to bed time." 

"For anyone that is new to the site, welcome! I personally started "really changing" my relationship with alcohol last November. What has worked for me may not work for others but I knew in my heart ?? it was important . Did I decide one day and just quit? Nope. I wanted to but I had many many day 1 start-overs. I had to change what I was thinking about alcohol and then it started getting easier. So here is the advice I followed from others here that has worked for me. Stay on here, read blogs, blog if you want to, comment and reach out for help, if you want to." 

"This wonderful community embraced me, educated me and supported me so that I could let go of the delusion that alcohol was a treat. Incredible Istas, far ahead on the journey, taught me that I wouldn't be 'sober and miserable forever'. Quite the opposite, they told of wonderful, happy lives. I wasn't sure whether to believe them! But, of course, it was true. I've found that out for myself. And it's the strong network of wonderful Istas that keeps me here today. Thanks to each and every one of you!" 

Wishing you a happy and healthy weekend,

Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

PS. A massive congratulations to long-term Soberistas Kate Baily and Mandy Manners, whose acclaimed book, Love Yourself Sober: A Self-Care Guide to Alcohol-Free Living for Busy Mothers, has just been published this week. We'll be running an extract and giveaway of their brilliant book this weekend, so look out for that in our Featured Articles. Kate and Mandy's book is now widely available and here's the link to it on Amazon -  Well done you two from all of us at Soberistas! xx 

On Soberistas today;

"Drunk driving. Not only forbidden but also very wrong and seriously dangerous. I could never do that. Until I did. One, two, three times. Then with a passenger next to me. Then with the two kids on the back seat. Never caught but never, ever acceptable. Oh, and with wine in the bloodstream I backed into my neighbour's trailer. Luckily the trailer was not affected but my car got a nasty scratch behind. I smiled it away and continued driving." 

"Mighty is a very apt word to describe someone who is a Soberista. It is the opposite of weak, insignificant, small, unimportant and powerless. We are all mighty warriors in the battle to become AF... and more importantly to STAY AF. When we take the massively brave step into the unknown world of sobriety, we have no idea what we are hurling ourselves into, but we trust the Istas who have gone before us and their word that things get better and that we are doing the next best thing." 
 
And catch up on our latest features, including this by regular features writer, Jacqueline Gregory: "In reality, Jane realised, she and her body had been at war for many years. It was sometimes open warfare, and in the last - what, five? - years she had progressed to chemical weapons, bombarding the enemy with more and more booze and drugs. Jane took an occasional break from the weapons and dropped the intensity down to cold war, characterised by attempts at moderation and a smouldering resentment at the enemy. Recently the war had turned nuclear. Something had to change." 
 
Book lovers! Visit the Soberistas Book Club now for details of our newly announced August Book of the Month, Coming Undone, which Amy Liptrot describes as 'Compelling'. 
 
And you can read the latest Ask the Doctor questions and answers (plus send in your own alcohol-related question to our addictions specialist GP for an answer published on Soberistas early August - you'll stay anonymous). 
 
Wishing you a happy and healthy week ahead,
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;
 
"Working from home does NOT suit me. I called a mate and said I felt like shit, and she wisely told me it was okay to feel like shit. Because shit passes, but not to ignore how I felt and to let it in. So I did. And do you know what, it felt good to wallow for a while. When I used to drink I''d cover my feelings, so I'm still getting used to the whole ''sitting with the buggers'' even though I'm nearly 5 years in. I'm a slow learner." 
 
"It's so important for those of us who have often resorted to alcohol to calm turbulent emotions, to take steps to keep our feelings on a balanced footing. So, in these difficult times, if you find yourself becoming agitated, try asking yourself that simple question. "What''s happening?" Just check in regularly with yourself throughout your day to see how you''re feeling and what''s really going on with you. I hope it helps you as it does me." 
 
Plus, read all our latest features now, including this on the importance of being kind, by Caroline Buchanan, and this by regular Soberistas writer, Faster; "I used to blackout regularly and lose hours of a night. Waking up with a sickening jolt and not remembering how I'd got home, who I'd been with and what I'd been saying, how I'd manage to spend a small fortune or why my jeans were filthy and my knees bruised and skinned." 
 
And finally, during these surreal and challenging times, our online community has taken on a completely unprecedented level of importance. For many of us, isolated in our own homes and unable to partake in normal social interaction for the foreseeable future, online connection is the only contact we can make with the outside world. We will be doing everything we can over the next few weeks and months to bring you even more online support from Soberistas, including the introduction of our monthly podcast series starting very soon. And for anyone looking for additional support, I am offering a reduced rate in my one-to-one sober coaching service, with a set of three one-hour online sessions costing just ?100 (usual cost is a block of four for ?200). To take advantage of this special offer, please email me on coaching@lucyroccalifecoaching.com and quote 'Set of 3 Offer'. 

On Soberistas today;
 
"Now, at 3-1/2ish years, I don''t have to fast-forward the tape anymore, but I will honestly say that sometimes I will rewind the tape to 3 days before I quit drinking because at that moment was my lowest point...I clearly remember sitting outside work drinking a beer and having a smoke, and a co-worker asked me if I was ok, that I seemed really down and depressed.... He was right.On my drive home, in a slight rain, I was driving over a bridge with a tear in my eye praying to God to please take away my anxiety and sadness, AMEN...3 days later I quit both alcohol and smoking...I''ll rewind the tape to the bridge sometimes to remind myself how far I''ve come...I drive over that same bridge everyday...I NEVER want to go back to how I felt that night..." 
 
"Everyone's emotions are heightened right now, and it brings out the extremes in our personalities. The super-cautious are extra afraid, the natural rule-followers are zealously following and enforcing rules, the rebels are brimming over with frustration at being contained. I am the latter. A risk taker, an eater of cookies dropped on the floor. The mom who put the pacifier dropped under the airplane seat in her own mouth to "clean" it, then put it back in the baby's. This is hard for me. The title of this is from remembering a wise comment I got on a blog once, when I was worried about my friends drinking. The commenter said, "You do you". To me this means "Do the next right thing, for you, right now, in this moment". Do not worry about what others are thinking or doing, because you cannot control that. Just do the next right thing. That is all we can do. It is actually all we can ever do. So in this moment, that was writing and posting this blog to you all." 
 
"But now, it's all fallen by the wayside. We are entering our 3rd week of "home learning". It's now social distancing, outside walks and leaving our home for groceries. Our world has shrunk in ways I didn't realize was possible. Within the walls of our home life is pretty predictable. The days are simple but not without challenges. Much of the noise has quieted, the cravings are gone. Now alcohol thoughts are only a passing thought. I feel very protective of my sobriety too. For myself but more for my kids. Now more than ever I have to be a predictable constant for them. If I drink, it all goes out the window." 
 
And finally, I'll be presenting a webinar a week today on Monday, April 6^th at 8pm BST. This webinar is open to everyone, subscribers and non-subscribers, and I will be talking about the following, in a specific coronavirus-related event:

• How to stay positive
• Finding a purpose
• Redefining your sober goals
• Redefining your life
• The importance of connection

On Soberistas today;

"The last two years have been life-changing for me. The first year was hard work at times but the relief I felt to be free from my addiction was a revelation. I felt like a weight had been lifted from me. Not carrying around that guilt anymore which used to wake me up at 4 in the morning - never going back to that, no way. I began to have so much more energy for my children and coping with being a single mum. Instead of feeling hard done by in life, I started to feel grateful for what I have, and that has continued to grow. The relationship I have with them now is so much better and I enjoy being a mum so much more and I know that's because I am alcohol-free." 

"I know that the more "events" I enjoy alcohol-free, the easier it becomes. My brain will keep being rewired. I have to say that (on a very personal level) I am embracing the second lockdown. Instead of drinking through it like I did in lockdown 1, I am going to use the time to just take things easy. Be gentle on myself. Keep getting stronger and more secure in my sobriety. OWN my sobriety. It is the greatest gift I can give to myself. I know I can do it and I am really proud of myself for getting to where I am today." 

"This is the magic of sobriety for me. If I say what I want, truthfully and honestly and I actually deal with some shit, or at the very least sit with it, things happen. My desires manifest! (cue: sobervangelist robes, music etc. I AM A SOBERLIEVER!). But seriously, life comes good not because of fairydust pixies. But because, without the sludge of alcohol, I'm closer to who I really am. I trust myself. Even on the days when I don't like myself. There's a part of me that always has my own back. And we know. Everyone here who has struggled with booze and hangovers KNOWS how you just don''t feel that trust and certainty in yourself when you're overdrinking. (Except maybe on a drunken-euphoric high but that's very short-lived! And does not translate into reality the next day.)" 

At the end of a week full of election chaos and tension, and the beginning of England's second national lockdown, we wish you a happy, healthy and peaceful weekend. 

Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;
 
"When lockdown first happened my husband who is a normie started to have a couple of glasses of wine on a few nights (and then put the cork in the bottle because he''s weird like that) and with that anxious feeling running over me like ants I suddenly felt a pang of jealousy - that he had a ''short cut tool'' to shut all this off and forget it for a while. However for me - and for all of you - drinking really isn''t an option as there is only one rule to being sober, just one - The One and Only Rule is: DON''T DRINK EVEN IF YOUR ARSE IS ON FIRE (Or your "butt" if you''re American) so that rule includes pandemics obviously." 
 
"What I honestly haven't even considered doing though is drinking. I'm so bloody grateful to be sober in fact. I can't imagine how I would have coped with this in my pre-sobriety life circumstances and mental state. Sending lots of sober strength to all - hang on in there guys. Honestly drinking won't make this easier to cope with, it will just increase your anxiety 100 fold and give you another problem to add to the rest. And I just keep thinking to myself, this is the sober first to end them all - nothing will seem like a challenge to face sober after this!" 
  
"So it seems sobriety has given me optimism and what a gift that is right now. If you are wavering about whether to try sober, I can't imagine a better time. Every day I wake up and thank my lucky stars I decided to quit 21 months ago. It only gets better - even through a plague I can say that - it only keeps getting better." 

And finally, big apologies for the missed webinar on Monday evening - unfortunately due to a technical glitch we were not able to deliver the webinar as planned. We are in the process of resolving the issue and will announce soon the revised date. Thank you for your patience. In the meantime you can view all our previous webinars on our webinars page.

On Soberistas today;
 
"It hasn't always been a cake walk or a pink cloud. Life has still happened, in more ways that we could ever have imagined lately. There's been ups and downs and lefts and rights. If I looked, I could have found a million and one reasons to drink every hour of every day for the past 9 months. But I didn't. I didn't negotiate, I didn't entertain the idea of moderation. I just didn't drink. It sounds really simple, and maybe some things can be simple, not necessarily easy, but simple." 
 
"I missed out on being there for my daughter. That I cannot change. But in the two years that I have been sober, I have re-established a close and meaningful relationship with her. I am so grateful for that second chance. We never, ever talk about the drinking days. We enjoy spending time together and truly seek out one another''s company. She has made the decision to NOT drink. She is only fourteen, so I''m not sure she means forever. I''m sure my drinking behavior impacted her deeply, even scared/scarred her. Who could blame her for wanting to avoid alcohol??" 
  
"The reason is I love being sober and what it brings me. That space to question things, to challenge my assumptions. I am so grateful to be on this path. So, to anyone who feels small today, remember: you CAN change something. You do have control of something. And that something can be - your alcohol consumption. Step back from the assumptions: that you need to drink to have fun, to cut loose, to be interesting and to fit in or that a drink will make it better, and that you are not able to stop. You can. And it is worth it. And the difference it makes will ring out like a bell across all areas of your life, I swear. This step, this path leads to so much more, an opening-out of life, of possibilities, an ability to challenge so many assumptions." 
 
And finally, have you read a good Quit Lit book recently? Our Book Club recommendations are all written by Soberistas members and it's been a while since we had a new one. There have been some amazing books published in the last year or two that definitely deserve a spot in our Quit Lit section! If you fancy writing a review, please see our guidelines here. 
 
Wishing you a happy and healthy week ahead, 
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;
  
"I can also control my feelings by not resisting reality. Resistance is futile. It won''t change a thing, but it will cause stress. I can be guided by the Serenity Prayer and accept life as it is, not as I would have it be. I can focus on the present moment, do what needs to be done, then let life unfold, as it will until the next decision requires my attention. Simply take one day at a time. Now where have I heard that before?" 
  
"My brain threw up the thought - this is potentially a bad situation. Even if it ends up just being a week or two at home with the kids, that will get boring. Isn't a pandemic a good time to drink? The drinking jokes are all over Twitter. If alcohol-based hand rub keeps you safe, then alcohol on the inside is bound to be better. Those types of jokes. Ha bloody ha. My answer to my brain? 1) Whatever the next few weeks are like I choose to be at my best, in my right mind, with all of the capacity that I represent available to respond. I want my emotional reaction to be sane and felt, I want to be able to make wise and informed decisions, I want to be able to communicate unimpeded, I want to be truly present and aware. Drinking stops all of that." 
 
"There are no words to express how grateful I am to be at a year of sobriety. Sometimes I catch myself remembering how things were just a year ago and I just can''t believe how far I have come. I am so deeply thankful that I never have to go through another hangover again. More than that I am so happy that I have found a way of living in sobriety that feels bold, rebellious, magical and limitless. I don''t feel like I am missing out one bit." 
 
And finally, we are sorry to announce the London workshop due to take place on Saturday March 21^st has been postponed until August 29^th due to the coronavirus outbreak. All tickets have now been refunded and you can book onto the rescheduled workshop, which will be just as fab and possibly a bit sunnier too, right now on Eventbrite. 
 
Wishing you a happy and healthy weekend,
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;
 
".you have nothing to lose, absolutely nothing - it might take you a while to see that, but you have everything to gain. You can get all those sunsets back that you were too tiddly to enjoy, let alone the sunsets that came after a long, boozy lunch so you completely missed day turning to night. I really believe that you can get your time back. This is because you savour each and every moment of your sober life and your instinct turns to repairing and restoring everything and all worthwhile relationships because you have the confidence to do so. You will start believing in and valuing yourself. It's quite amazing how it all works. It's the gift that keeps on giving." 
  
"I have learned to think of living alcohol free as a turn in the road, a choice made between two alternative directions at a fork in the road.  One prong of the fork carries on pretty much along the same trajectory as before, it is the more obvious one to take, is familiar and I can navigate it even under the influence of vast amounts of alcohol. The other is somewhat overgrown with brambles and obstacles in the way, where I would need to have my wits about me in order to proceed.  I'd encountered such forks in the road before, many times, but for some reason this time the universe directed me onto the "path less travelled"." 
 
"Decreased anxiety. About a year before I finally decided it give up drinking I was diagnosed with acute anxiety, was having panic attacks and was signed off work. Drinking exacerbated all this so much but I didn''t want to admit it at the time. My anxiety hasn''t gone and I still feel the tell-tale flutter of an incoming panic attack about once a month but it''s so much easier to manage without the added confusion of alcohol mixed in there. I can rationalise why I''m feeling like I''m feeling and take steps to deal with it...rather than just mainlining Pinot, which was my go-to in the past. Not the most effective coping mechanism for anxiety!" 
 
Wishing you a happy, safe and healthy week ahead,
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;
 
Today is the first day of the Soberistas 'May The Force Be With You' Sober Challenge - stay alcohol-free for the whole of the month of May and donate to FareShare, a charity redistributing unused food to those who are in desperate need. This is obviously a growing crisis in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic so please donate whatever you can afford, if you are in a position to do so - we hope this will also provide you with an added incentive to stay alcohol-free for the next month. You can find the details in the blog or go directly to the just giving page here.
 
Plus, catch up on all your latest blogs: 
 
"Today I woke up, and whilst cleaning out a cupboard, I found a bottle of Vodka. Staring at it I thought to myself, why not just drink tonight, reset the clock tomorrow, after all it is a new month so Day 1 on the 1st. For the best part of the morning I battled with this thought, should I, should I not. Oh my god it was so tedious although I''ve had hundreds of these thoughts over the years. I took myself off for a walk and whilst out, I found myself tearful. Not sad tears, but tears when I said to myself ''no more unhappiness'' ''I deserve more'' ''I don''t want to ruin my newish relationship'' and most importantly...''I want to live''." 
  
"Repeat and repeat and repeat. Kind of like hammering my head into a cement wall. When I think about this now, what was happening to me at 5 p.m. is the essence of addiction - the only way I could relieve the misery the drug was causing was to take more of the drug. If you recognize this pattern, yes, the drug has you trapped. There will never be moderation - god knows I struggled to make that one work. Getting sober takes time. Some benefits come fast, but the magnificent benefits take more time. Keep going, wherever you are on your journey, I can only tell you that - just keep walking forward. There truly is nothing back there for you anymore." 
 
"I remember my birthday last year was nowhere near as nice as it was yesterday. I was with my ex. I was sat drinking Pimms all day, inside the flat. It was sunny and I wasn't outside, I shut myself in drinking away. I was pissed off that the first few shops didn't have the Pimms I wanted, so we were driving round trying to find it. Madness??? I don't think I saw my family that day, it was just us two. Thinking back, it makes me sad. I was so so isolated, and even with this lockdown, I felt loved and connected." 

Wishing you a happy, safe and healthy weekend,

On Soberistas today;
 
"My life is 1000 times better. Of course, it is not perfect and there have been some tough times, but I would not change it for the world. I don't blog as often as I used to but when I first started on this journey, I was on the website all of the time and posted quite a lot. Quitting drinking has given me my life back. I have accomplished so much in the 7 years than I ever did before. I was always the shite-talker on the barstool or on my couch talking about how I was going to do something but always forgot about it or was too hungover or full of anxiety to actually do it. When you're sober, you do accomplish some stuff!" 

"It turns out that cravings, even big ass monster cravings that leave you tearing your hair out and crying, really do go away on their own. Rather than trying to fight the cravings and the discomfort they brought, I just decided to go through it. What other choice did I have? It was really uncomfortable. Like a big ocean wave that tosses you around, so you don''t know which way is up but eventually you get upright again somehow." 

"Back at the beach the drinks were flowing. I cracked my AF beer and enjoyed the shit out it. It was exactly the right thing, salty from the ocean, in the sun. It hit the exact spot a real beer would have. Very little explanation needed as to why I wasn't drinking. And very little intense NEED to be drinking. A couple pangs of cravings, a little sad for my 'old life'. But NONE of the consequences!!!! I can surf sober! And socialize with people on a beach, in the sun, without drinking!! And damn if I don't feel so damn proud of myself right now. It's so hard to jump back into the things we used to do while drinking. The associations are such solid tethers to alcohol. It's a slow growth, but if I just keep practicing the sober part of it, I'm hoping I won't miss the alcohol part at all." 
 
Wishing you a happy and healthy week ahead,
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 
 

On Soberistas today;
 
"I started really having authentic fun when being AF became more natural. Not always having to be hyper focused gave me room to explore what I like to do. This was important because I came to realize that alcohol negated the need to figure out what I enjoyed doing because it painted everything with the "party" brush. No matter what it was I was doing, alcohol made it unimportant. It was all about the alcohol, not the activity! The activity was an afterthought.the true activity was the drinking! The friendships and conversations were lost or forgotten, the connections were fuzzy, the music was muffled, the flavor was masked. The fun was fleeting or imagined." 
 
"We know that alcohol is a depressant. We know we feel rubbish the next day after drinking too much. We know we may well experience hangxiety or low mood or lethargy for several days after a binge. Even if we only had a drink or 2 we know we still won't feel as fresh as we should. (Side point: If as drinkers we know these things then why do we keep doing it to ourselves? The reason: whilst we are drinkers, we are prepared to pay the price. When we get sober it's because for whatever reason, we are no longer prepared to pay the price. The cost is too high.) So of course, it stands to reason that once we stop ingesting alcohol, we will automatically feel better and our mental health will improve." 
  
"I re-subscribed about a week ago, after letting my subscription pass over a year ago maybe? Well.... I was well back in the grip of it all. Why tune in? It would only shine a light on my denial and that''s no fun for a drinking gal. What has surprised me and what I forgot, is this big warm hug you get from this place, you guys. Unconditional positive regard maybe? Whatever it is it feels good to be back amongst you all. There are a few old names I remember, feels like I lost touch with some old school mates, like I went travelling and now returned to the fold. Back on terra firma. It feels good and I am glad to be back." 
  
Wishing you a happy, safe and healthy weekend,
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;
 
"I realised, Drinking Me comes with a huuuuge price tag. The price tab is unpredictability, possible cheating, hangxiety, low mood. It comes with me losing my self-respect and integrity and authenticity. It comes with me no longer knowing who I am. It comes with me being prepared to sell myself down the river. It comes with me no longer being able to trust my intuition. It comes with me being ashamed of who I am. And that''s NOT the woman that he''s attracted to." 
  
"I''d wake up panicky.  I''d drink more in the evenings to squash it.  And repeat.  And I lost my confidence.  For the first time in my life I started doubting my lovely curves. I started doubting my ability at work. I started doubting my mothering. Everything felt wrong.  Drink, drink, drink, drink... It would be ok, especially when I felt the wine hit my tummy and i could feel myself relax. My subconscious drinking mantra about how it made everything better became so powerful I didn''t even notice how many bottles I was throwing out, or how sick I felt cheering my daughter on the sidelines on a Saturday morning." 
 
"I don''t want to live the next decade swallowed up by alcohol and existing rather than living. I''m sick and tired of feeling sick and tired and overall useless and worthless. I want to get my health back on track, lose the weight and be happy once again. I deserve it. We all do. We never need a reason to start drinking, however, we have plenty of why we want to stop. Stop for yourself, your family, your health whatever it is just stop and start living. We have the power to change. That''s what I say to myself." 
 
And lastly, don't forget to check out our May Sober Challenge here - we're asking you to stay sober for the whole month of May and donate the money you'd have spent on alcohol to FareShare via our Just Giving page. May The Fourth Be With You!! 
 
Wishing you a happy, safe and healthy week ahead,
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;
 
"I also fully recognise that hitting milestones doesn''t make me invincible, and the proof of that is in my own journey.... I know this is a vulnerable time for me, I get complacent, I think I''ve nailed it, what harm can one do... hence my ramblings this morning to keep me accountable. I''ve also learned when I get complacent I distance myself from this site cos I think I''ve got it all sussed... not this time, you lovely lot are stuck with me."
 
"I felt I had to drink to have a good time. I just wasn't the same personality without it. I thought the drinking ME was the real, fun ME. That my sober self couldn't let go, throw caution to the wind, was too self-conscious and didn't help the evening go with a bang and go down as being a memorable, brilliant occasion. The reality was rarely like that, of course and eventually, I had to admit to myself that I was lying to myself; that I was reliant on the stuff to generally even function properly." 

"Once I decided to Stop the self-harm (drinking), start the work of Restoring my sense of self-worth, I realized that I was going to be the Forever Sober Mum to my terrified inner child. And that left no room for reconciliation with my birth mother, though the Forgiveness I feel for her is Genuine and Unending. So, while I can well remember how distant a goal my first 100 days seemed - how I thought it would be a life-changer, here at AF 450, I''m just beginning to settle in to my new "skin". Every time I exhale, I let go of a little bit more of the residual pain and sadness alcohol brought into my life. And every morning that I wake up with no anxiety or regret gets me a little closer to Manifesting the Best Me I Know I Can Be..." 
 
Wishing you a happy, safe and healthy week ahead,
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x

PS. Please remember to vote for your Member of the Month for April - use the form on the MOTM page to nominate a Soberista who you feel has gone the extra mile in supporting you this month or who has made great strides in his or her sobriety. 

On Soberistas today;
 
"I've seen a lot of blogs the past few days from people feeling very afraid and unsure about the future. How will they maintain their sobriety after lockdown, or even after 10 days.? And I get it. We cling to our old identities. The things we've spent so long crafting and building and have served us and got us through. I often say, you need to 'Marie Kondo' the old you, the drinking you. The old habits, the old feelings. Don't hate them, don't look back in anger. Thank the old-you for the service, for getting you through the only way she (or he) knew how, kiss that person goodbye. Take a moment. Let her/him go." 
 
"So, last night while I was cooking dinner, I had this overall feeling about how much BIGGER life can be without alcohol. It was a vision of this incredibly powerful and meaningful life that is out there waiting for me. So much more loving and filled with health, vitality, purpose and wisdom. It included oceans and mountains and trees.... a true appreciation of nature and natural law. It felt clean and pure and true." 
 
"I was sceptical. I mean, what's so special about 100 days AF?  It's a nice round number and all, but could it really be all it's cracked up to be in the quit lit and sober blog world?  I mean, a little more than a week ago, I was being double-teamed by the wine witch and the moderation meanie. And now?  They've both retreated to some remote island in the back of my mind, accessible only by kayak, and even if I had a kayak I wouldn't risk landing it on their rock-strewn shore. Nope. I'm paddling around this lovely lagoon and soaking up the sober rays." 
 
 And finally, are you taking part in our Sober May Challenge? Stay alcohol-free for the month of May and donate the money you would have spent on alcohol to our Just Giving charity, FareShare, which distributes otherwise-wasted food amongst those who are struggling to feed themselves and their families. Thank you so much to everyone who has donated so far - we are already nearly a third of the way to our target of ?900! 
 
Wishing you a happy, safe and healthy Bank Holiday weekend, 
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;
 
"It was just over 33 months ago that I decided that giving up my 'raison d'etre', my motivator, my precious, was going to hurt too much. I simply couldn't contemplate it. There was no life ahead that I could see without it. As I woke every morning I thought about my next liaison with it. I checked I had enough in the house before I left for work, knowing I would have to fit in a trip to a shop somehow during my busy day if I had not got in stock the necessary 20 odd units that my body started to crave around 5pm." 
 
"When I drank, I wished a thousand times over that I didn't. Every birthday, significant anniversary, 1st of the month, Christmas, and of course New Year, they were to be the last one that I drank through, a whole new beginning was about to bloom. It never did, drinking was me, it was the focus of my life, it was in control, it was my master and I was its servant. Acceptance slowly and insidiously crept in, along with the thinking of, "this was my fate, it was what it was, I had no control over it, and it was just too powerful for me to manage. I just could not find the energy to fight against it", so it was much easier just to accept, that this was my lot...." 
 
"Like so many of us I don't have a lot to say about how amazing life is right now. I'm in approximately week 10427 of COVID lockdown, living with my parents again at 43 so I can work and we can try between the three of us to get my lovely girls through this time without too much of the general grimness impacting on them. I feel disgusted by recent events in the news, the racist murders in the US and politics in general are weighing heavy on my heart, even from my position of enormous relative privilege. I want to help, to do better, to be part of the solution not the problem, but also feel overwhelmed by the enormity of that. But, like all of us who want to help make the world a better place, all I can do is just keep on doing the next right thing, as best I can. And double down on the self-care. Because god knows I need that right now. We all do." 
 
Wishing you a happy, safe and healthy weekend,
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;
 
"It seems to me that our old friend the witch of the wine is loving the current COVID-19 situation. At three years sober I've not been troubled by her at all for ages - probably about a year, maybe a bit more. And yet, in the last week, she has suddenly made several unwanted appearances in my mind. I'm in no danger of drinking, don't worry (I'm in self isolation with two children and no booze in the house and, apart from anything else, it would be REALLY embarrassing because of the whole book thing)." 
 
"So these are my big worries right now, all things I have little control over. I can stay strong, stay positive and keep smiling and that's what I plan to do. The one thing I have total control over today, and throughout this, is being AF. That feels bloody amazing to me right now. This is the one thing right now I can feel certain, will make this time have a better outcome. Without this site I wouldn't have this amazing gift right now and every day I'm so grateful for finding first this site & then the amazing friendships with people all over the world who make every day brighter for me. Stay close everyone, as together we are stronger." 
 
"It's been a while since I walked these halls. I'm almost embarrassed to come back but I need to. Isolation is proving to be an alcohol fuelled sh1t show and I'm only on day 5. I've set about putting positive steps into motion; I've bought myself a diary (off Amazon) so I can write in it everyday. The Good, the Bad, the Ugly and the awesome, amazing feeling of being sober, once I get passed the first few weeks. It's not going to be easy, there will be times when I want to give up but all I need to do is remember how I feel right now. No amount of isolation frustration is going to be helped with wine or gin or any other alcohol!!" 
 
And finally, with self-isolation and more time on our hands being the new norm, you might be interested in entering our monthly Book Club competition to win a free copy of our Book of the Month. This month, it's Susan Lewis's 'One Minute Later' - visit the Book Club now and click on "Enter Competition". Good luck! 
 
Wishing you a happy, healthy and safe week,
 
Love from the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;
 
"I no longer live in fear or shame. I started with a biggie and will end with a biggie. I used to live under a constant cloud of shame at my drinking behaviour and fear that I might be an alcoholic which to drinking me equalled life over. Now that cloud has gone forever. I lived with it for so long I acclimatised to it. I didn't even realise it was there. Like an annoying noise that goes on so long you get used to it, and don't notice it until the sweet relief you feel when it stops." 
 
"Before you know it, you''re sucked into this rollercoaster school orbit, crying on the train because you feel overwhelmed. This is when the Wine Witch hit, and she hit hard. In my former life I would have rewarded myself after a long Monday. And Tuesday. And Wednesday. Every day really. Long days at work were the perfect excuse to ''get at it''. I left school on Monday and there she was: ''You''ve worked so hard! Luckily there is wine at home, you deserved it'. Eh what? You see, old habits die hard. But they will eventually die." 
 
"One of my most powerful motivators at the start (and for a very long time) was playing the tape forward at the start of the evening and picturing myself climbing into bed feeling sober, and proud at the end of it, and waking up clearheaded, and still proud and ready for a wonderful Saturday. I still relish those feelings. At the end of September, I'll be 5 years sober. There is literally never a day when I don't celebrate this, the best decision I've ever made." 
 
Today is the last day to send your Ask the Doctor questions into our resident GP, Dr Rachel, for an answer published on Soberistas early September. Visit the Ask the Doctor page now to submit your question (don't worry, you'll stay anonymous). And don't forget to visit the Soberistas Book Club where you can enter our monthly competition to win a free copy of the Book of the Month. Our choice this month is Bryony Gordon's amazing new book, Glorious Rock Bottom, and we've got 5 copies to give away. Click on Enter Competition to log your entry - good luck! 
 
Wishing you a happy and healthy week ahead,
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;

"I like the way I am feeling inside. I am especially thankful that happiness is real. That at times I can actually live it. Inside I can watch myself, question myself, make choices in my responses to everyday situations. Teach myself to be patient, to see the expectations that cause me grief. I am learning to choose how I want to live. And have confidence in my choices. Outside merely gives me the experience needed to expand my subtle strengths. Not drinking alcohol has made this all possible. So much of my time while drinking was wasted on thoughts of drinking. No expansion, no quality. No confidence or knowledge that there is a different way to live." 

"All I can tell any of you who are wanting to stay sober is that despite the nostalgia, the envy I sometimes feel when I see my friends or strangers with a bottle of wine, and the memories of the good times, I do not want to start drinking again. I am exactly the same person but with the sharp edges removed and the relentless self-torture ebbing slowly away. I am calmer, more emotionally stable, better able to cope with everyday stress (though believe me, I can still go up like a blue light if I get upset), my weight is stable, my skin and eyes are clear, I look good and I feel physically great. Life is different but overall better." 

"We are now spending a year in Spain, living in vineyards. Oh the irony. My sober goggles don't miss one single iota of the oenophile's experience. They see rolling green fields (grapevines are still beautiful), blue skies full of hope and promise, the amazing flavours of fresh produce and Mediterranean cooking, I am not for a second swept away by the romance of a local syrah grape - someone else can enjoy that. I'll just appreciate the fact that I never ever have to have a wine-induced headache or nausea or anxiety or panic or despair or guilt or shame or insecurity ever again. I'm  a sober girl. My children see all my imperfections, but they never have to smell those fumes or endure the slurring. That is one example I will never set and it feels good." 

And finally, a few reminders! There are just 2 days left before we close nominations for October's Member of the Month - vote now for the Soberista you'd most like to see win a beautiful, personally inscribed Merci Maman bracelet worth ?49!  Our Book of the Month for November is the Sunday Times bestseller ''The Giver of Stars'' by Jojo Moyes and we've got 5 copies to give away. Visit the Book Club now for all the details and to enter our competition.  And don't forget to check out the Soberistas Discount Club for money off exciting health and lifestyle products, including a whopping 20% off at my online store for sober warriors, The Rest Is History. Get your exclusive codes here. 

Wishing you a happy and healthy week ahead, 

Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;

 "It''s helped so much to find this place and, like the shadowy lurker I am, to read your stories and your sadnesses and your achievements and to hear about how far you''ve all come. I guess that means that I can do it, too. I want to say thank you to everyone who''s writing on here, and maybe stop being a shy and appreciative member of a big friendly group and wave a tentative "hello". To say, honestly, that I''m struggling with alcohol right now, and that I really, really, want to stop. To say I appreciate what all of you are going through and what you''ve achieved and that I believe that life can be brilliant, technicolour brilliant, without a single alcoholic beverage." 
 
"Over the last few days I have really become aware of the extent that some people feel the need to justify their own drinking or how dependent they are on it - and they haven''t even realised! Many quit lit books/videos etc talk about this and I always agreed with it but recently I''ve really become so aware of it in my own life. The upside of this is that I feel less ashamed of my own problems with alcohol and more pleased that I am actually doing something about it. I think because we feel we have to be secretive about giving up drinking we also carry with us a sense of shame for having got ourselves in this situation when in reality there are so many more people who have also got themselves in the same pickle with alcohol but just haven''t/won''t/can''t admit it yet." 
 
"So it was an extraordinary day, because I was sober. My mind wasn't on the next drink. Or trying to smoke cigarettes down wind of any nearby kids. For the first time in a long time? Swimming was more important than the beer. Getting lost in the cool water and the warm sun and the laughter of my kids was better than any buzz I've ever had. What looked like an ordinary day to anyone else was a magical day for me. THIS is why I choose not to drink. These magic moments don't come every day, but it is such a gift to be sober when they do." 
 
And finally, it's Treat Friday today - our monthly celebration of self-care and paying attention to ourselves, in a busy, challenging world in which we often forget our own needs. Share your treats in the Treat Friday blog now, and read how other Istas have been treating themselves today too. 
 
Wishing you a happy and healthy weekend,
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 
 

On Soberistas today;

"These COVID days have been tough on everyone and virtually every adult I know has been merrily drinking their way through the fear, uncertainty and stress. I've had my days, I won't lie, and confess, occasionally four bottles a week have disappeared. That, coupled with longer hours working, eating the lovely stodgy food donated to the NHS, or by coworkers'' baking, has had a big impact on my waistline and self-esteem. I do not like that woman looking back at me. BUT I'm not going to accept that! I'm here to be accountable again and up for 100 Days Challenge (for starters), I don't care if Xmas is in 75 days and then New Year - feel the fear." 

"I know I haven''t been on for a long time. My membership lapsed and when it did I wasn''t in a good place. I was having multiple Day Ones and know I wasn''t giving it my all if I am honest with myself. I was trying to ignore the damage drinking was doing to me and was trying to disguise that with just saying F-it all the time, this is just me and I drink a lot of wine. In truth, I was hiding so many emotions. I was struggling and tried to ignore it rather than confront it." 

"I was going to do 50 things I wanted to do in my 50th year but never had the time ...... now I'm going to change that to 50 reasons why I will not drink for 50 days the day after I'm 50! Reason number 1: To fill my little girls childhood with happier memories than mummy being asleep or too tired to read." 

"I have also realised it''s because I have internally committed now to this forever - before, I think I was afraid to say I didn''t drink in case I changed my mind or slipped and started again, then would have to back track and explain. The words scared me. Not any longer. I find it amusing to see people''s reactions - all of which tell me lots about their own drinking behaviour*. Yes I do feel slightly ''odd'' but there are lots of other things I do that don''t fit with most other people." 

Wishing you a happy and healthy week ahead, 

Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;

"It is my 30th birthday today. I celebrated AF last night with my family. I had a wonderful night, laughed so much I cried and looked happier in the photos taken than I ever have on a birthday before. I came home at 2am and had an amazing sleep. This morning I enjoyed a breakfast of pancakes and a lovely walk on the beach. I have honestly never had a better birthday." 

"Sports and fitness were so far from my identity as a drinker, old goth/alternative rock chick type whatever. But, I am reading Glennon Doyle''s Untamed and, as she says in there: you have to be willing to burn it all down, throw every single aspect of your old self on the fire so that something brand new, true and beautiful can emerge. And you know what? I think I might just be doing that. I love being sober." 

"I had a pretty upsetting argument with my kids earlier today that sent me into a complete meltdown. I left the house really upset, drove to my local Tesco with one thing on my mind - wine and lots of it. As the argument involved my children, blogging about it felt wrong & disloyal even though I know this is a safe place. I knew I needed to talk to someone and quickly before I did something stupid, so I used the diary option on here. After getting everything out of my head and into words I could cope, I was still upset, but calmer and more rational and I didn't buy wine. The everything has now been resolved and we've all said sorry & hugged. I'm so glad I found the online diary and I've added it to my tool box." 

Wishing you a happy and healthy week ahead,

Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;
 
"Today is a surreal day for me because when I first quit drinking I often thought about what my life would be like if I actually made it to two years sober. I''ve celebrated many milestones with you all but somehow this one feels really momentous. It''s hard to believe that tomorrow will be the first day of my third year of sobriety...wow. Most of the long term Soberistas know my story because I used to write on here all the time. If you''re new you may not know anything about me, but trust me when I say that I was definitely addicted to alcohol and had no idea how I would stop drinking when I joined this site." 
 
"Today I woke to the memory of me sitting at my dining table... depleted and lifeless, unable to see a way to stop drinking. Staring at the blinking prompt on my computer thinking of all the times I had failed and let myself down. The self-disgust I felt towards myself, the years of self-abuse had finally laid me out. I was never an over-the-top party girl. My drinking was strictly done alone. An everyday event in order to step away from my life. A life I had made unbearable by doing the one thing I believed eased my loneliness and pain. Drinking alcohol." 
  
"So my days between drinking keep getting shorter. I can see the writing on the wall. I'll be back to daily drinking by the end of the year. So back to commitment. Full commitment, no half-assing it this time. I'm not leaving that door cracked open for a 'maybe'. Back to quit lit everyday, more blogs, more podcasts and actually investing in sobriety. My life is richer without the undercurrent of addiction. And I've got shit to do! So begins the slow process of untethering myself from alcohol once again. I'm not going to master it tomorrow or a month from now. All I have to focus on is today. Back to the basics." 

And finally, it's the last day of the month to get your alcohol-related questions into our specialist GP, Dr. Rachel. Visit the Soberistas Ask the Doctor page now, and all questions received by the end of today will be posted with Rachel's answers at the beginning of August (you'll remain anonymous). 
 
Wishing you a happy and healthy weekend,
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;

"THIS is what I love about sobriety years into the journey. There is still so much to learn, still so much to discover about myself and who I really am. Letting the layers peel away over the years, when they are ready to. Slowly exposing the person that I''m meant to be. It really is the gift that just keeps on giving if you give it the chance to. I hope you will." 

"For me, and for many of those I have seen on these pages, addiction to alcohol came on in stages. I was a mostly happy kid, had one episode of drinking as a teenager, then some binges in college, but I could still "take it or leave it". I got more into the booze during my career in the US Navy-at that point I was recognizing my drinking as a problem, but it still was not seen as a problem to others. Then later, it became progressively worse. It's easy and it's a copout to stay in addiction as a victim. It's the ultimate f*ck it. Why bother? I'll just get shit-faced again because (e.g) I was a step child, I'm not the coolest, my boss doesn't like me, my marriage stinks, my kids are butt holes, etc, etc. The victim mindset is a trap for addiction. It's also contagious. Be on guard for it." 

"Today is my first day, I made the decision this morning. I don''t know why today is different to all the other days, but it is. I woke up and just knew I need to change. I don''t know where it''s come from, with such clarity and intensity too. That niggling sense that there''s a part of my life that doesn''t quite fit, something holding me back, well it''s the bloody alcohol. How did I not realise that sooner? I have blamed a million other things but I''ve never questioned my relationship with alcohol. I cried as I realised that this morning, it so obvious- I would laugh if I wasn''t so petrified by what it means." 

Wishing you a happy and healthy weekend, 

Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;
 
"I love that I proved to myself once again that I can get through awkward social moments...and come out the other side "living my best life". I love that even though it was late, I came home, washed my face, brushed my teeth and put the food away. I love knowing that I will remember everything I did today. I love knowing that I will not wake up wracked with anxiety because of things I may have said or done, but don''t clearly remember. I love that there will be no apology texts, no awkward pretending my outrageous behavior was totally normal! I love that I''ll be waking up to a beautiful morning tomorrow, hangover free." 
 
"It brings back agonising memories of being drunk and trying to look sober. It fills me with the horror of secretly drinking and then that awful crawling work of hiding my drunkenness. The pathetic attempt to talk, the arduous trying to sit up, walk, do LIFE normally. I spent so much time covering my tracks, hiding my secret, my ugly habit that made me sick, physically, mentally, emotionally and especially spiritually.... I was killing the spirit inside of me." 
  
"Day one I sipped my one drink, ahh, lovely to be on holiday.  Within 5 minutes I was resentful as OH continued to pour, and (as instructed) not offer me any.  One more glass can't hurt, surely.  After the second, it was no longer me in charge, but addicted head, and she ordered a second bottle, sneaky bugger. The week went downhill from there. By day three I was having a cheeky one with lunch, which also turned into a shared bottle. By day four I couldn't care less about the risotto, the olive groves or the beautiful language around me, I was tetchy and clock-watching for wine o'clock. Apparently reader, it's 11 am where I was. Yes, lovely, that's Siena duomo, what time are the bars open?" 
 
Wishing you a happy and healthy week ahead,
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;

"400 days ago, without me realising it at the time, I made the best decision I have ever made for myself in my life. Of course, I count things like choosing to be with my OH who is my biggest AF supporter, and moving to a beautiful life in Spain, as pretty good decisions but I know that without making that decision not to drink, none of the rest would be possible today. Because I was killing myself slowly with my drinking, I was killing my chance at living a happy life with my OH in our new home, by default I was killing him and his dreams as well. I was throwing away everything that I'd spent my life working so hard to achieve." 

"Today I am 100 days sober!  This is not the first time I have reached this milestone but I truly feel in my heart it will be the last. I feel that some people have to have a period of sobriety, relapse, period of sobriety, to realise how much better your life is without booze, and that you are truly not missing it in your life. It's all been part of the process and for me, knowing how awful and worthless I feel when I drink compared to being clearheaded and not wrecked with anxiety - it's just incomparable." 

"It's not really the wine that was my problem (added: although alcohol WAS a big problem and I was addicted). But it was all the reasons I was drinking: to block out pain and 'boredom' and insecurity and that restless Friday feeling. But all that stuff will still be there. Or worse, really. Because drinking would risk that some of the things I've worked through and made peace with, might even come back. Shudder. And worst of all: I actually think if you do knuckle down and sit through these restless, shitty feelings, there's some gold on the other side. And it''s gold that you just NEVER get to when you drink and block it. You just do not ever reach that place where you learn something. You''re stuck." 

And finally, it's your last chance to enter our competition to win a free hardback copy of Bryony Gordon's amazing new book, Glorious Rock Bottom (this month's competition closes at midnight BST tomorrow). We''ve got 5 copies to give away - to enter, visit the Soberistas Book Club now and click Enter Competition. Good luck!! 

Wishing you a happy and healthy week ahead,

Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;
 
"If you are new to the AF life, I want to tell you that everything is much better without alcohol. Yes there are still bad things that happen in life. You may have to unpack some difficult emotions that you were drowning in alcohol. You can process them though in a healthy way with a clear head and really heal. There will always be an excuse to drink if you want to find one: happy, sad, rainy, sunny, boring, moody, traumatic, or ecstatic, etc. Learn from the slips, each one tells you something. No one is a master of a behavior just starting out." 
 
"Limits are self-inflicted.... When I was drinking, my mind was like a snow globe, vigorously shaken, thoughts flying in all directions. Now those flakes have settled to the bottom and are much more tranquil. When a rogue little white ball wants to shoot into orbit and stir the pot, the retrained, quieter majority tethers it back to true north. A more "zen" me steadies the ship that sometimes still heads direct into the storm, out of habit." 
 
"I think most importantly I've become protective over my sobriety and fearful of losing my grip on it. I love feeling proud of myself every day - it puts a smile on my face and a spring in my step. I don't want to go back to the place where I say and do things I would never say sober, where I drive hungover (probably still over the limit), where I blackout and need people to rescue me, where I lose my dignity. I've finally found a version of me that I love - the girl I've been drowning in wine for 20 years has thankfully survived and resurfaced, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed." 
 
"It's the little things too.. Except they're not actually little things. They're everyday things that make a huge difference to your mental and physical wellbeing. Sleeping well, eating well, actually enjoying exercise (rather than using it to mentally counteract your drinking), remembering what you have read/watched on TV the next day, knowing that if you piss someone off it wasn't because you were hammered and said something stupid, decreased anxiety and a settled stomach!" 
 
Wishing you a happy and healthy weekend ahead,
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;

"Deciding to get drunk on a regular (if not daily) basis was the 1 Decision that wiped out virtually every other good decision I had the option of making. There is no "deciding" when you''re an addict, and I think that''s the most difficult concept to grasp, at least in the early stages of our sobriety. But on February 2nd, 2019, after a 21-day relapse (which began on day 49 of my first attempt to reach 100 days sober), I Decided to Stop Drinking." 

"Anyway, here I am, on a Friday night, thinking ... I''ve had four sober nights, can I "treat myself" to a glass or two of excellent Chardonnay? I know what the answer to that is of course ("no"). Funny how the term "giving up" can be positive, as in "giving up a bad habit"; or negative, as in "giving in". I''ve joined Soberistas on an initial 7-day trial and I want to stay in the sober crowd. I have really enjoyed the evenings this week of no-wine. The gentle, healthily-tired feeling that I get around 8.30pm, which I don''t get after I''ve been drinking. The ability to focus quietly and enjoy a book." 

"It helps me to remember there are many out there suffering especially with all the added isolation. Sometimes I wish we could reach them somehow. At the closing of some AA and Al Anon meetings, they stand in a circle with one foot in to give thanks for being there , and one out, to honor and think of those out of the circle, still suffering. We are lucky to have found this space. Thank you to Lucy and all that have come before us with stories. If you are new or returning, we are so lucky to be together here. When I get caught up in my own "problems", it always helps me to remember this: each day is a chance to share our stories. By sharing we may just be the person who touches another and that, can make all the difference." 

Wishing you a happy and healthy week ahead,

Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

PS. For sober or life coaching, accountability sessions or more in-depth work to really get to the root of why you are drinking and why you want to stop, contact me on coaching@lucyroccalifecoaching.com - I am taking bookings now for the New Year. 

Dear Soberista,
 
We hope you are staying safe and well during this worrying and difficult time. Despite all the challenges we are facing, it has been heart-warming to read your blogs and comments from over the last few days, as you work harder than ever to support one another in staying sober. Human connection is essential for all of us, and therefore the social isolation and distancing that has been enforced over recent times constitutes a massive threat to our innate need to be a part of a community. In spite of this, Soberistas continues to play an important role in keeping us all united amidst the coronavirus and I just wanted to say a big thank you to each and every one of you for your part in keeping our special community strong.
 
On Soberistas today, you can catch up on all the latest blogs, many of which are, not surprisingly, related to the coronavirus: 
 
"Deep down, you know that your best you is AF you! You know that by being AF, you can bring your best self to this challenge, you can remain present for your loved ones, you won''t be mastered by your fears and your anxiety, you will cultivate your authentic self and rediscover that you are strong, that you are capable and you have oceans of talents and abilities that will get you and your loved ones through this!" 
 
"In my opinion, now would be an AMAZING opportunity to quit drinking. You can't go out and get alcohol as easily under new restrictions, there's no upcoming events/parties/weddings to attend, you won't have to worry about sober socialising or explaining why you're not drinking and you are now confined to your homes - given the gift of time to fill with whatever activities you chose. In these completely new and unusual circumstances, why not add a taste of sobriety into the mix?" 
 
And finally, I'm currently offering a special reduced rate on my one-to-one coaching service for anyone looking for extra support. You can benefit from a set of three hour-long sessions for just ?100 (usual rate is four hour-long sessions for ?200) to help with positive mind management, reducing anxiety, staying sober and increasing self-worth. There are limited slots so get in touch ASAP if you would like to take advantage of this special offer. Email me on coaching@lucyroccalifecoaching.com for more information and to book. 
 
Wishing you all a safe, healthy and peaceful weekend,
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x 

On Soberistas today;
 
Why is self-esteem so important in creating a long-term sober life? Read my latest feature now on why it matters so much, and how to increase your own self-esteem. 
 
Have you made time for a special treat today to mark August's Treat Friday? Have a look through other Soberistas' treats now and share yours too - it's crucial to make time for self-care so we hope you managed to find that time today. 
 
Plus, you can catch up on all your fabulous and inspiring blogs from the last few days, including this one: "I used myself as a punching bag for SO long! I didn''t believe in myself one bit despite numerous accomplishments and knowledge I know I possess. I feel so sad for who I was and so happy for who I am now." 
 
And this one: "First of all, I would have spent time thinking about how I could convince hubby and boys that we too needed a drink in a pub, which in my heart of hearts know wouldn't happen, so then I would have spent time inwardly sulking and not been fully present. Lastly, I would have announced that it was time to be getting home (so I could drink) and frogmarched my family back to the car, the mood of the day would have shifted, it would have been tense and unpleasant." 
 
And don't forget to have a look at all our latest feature articles,  up-to-date Booze in the News, and the Soberistas Book Club for information and competition entry details to win a copy of Bryony Gordon's brilliant new book, Glorious Rock Bottom - we've got 5 copies to give away! 
 
Wishing you a happy and healthy weekend,
 
Lucy and the Soberistas Team x