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Highlighting stories each month about men and boys choosing to promote healthy manhood and working to advance gender equality.

Dondre'' Whitfield and Will Smith Talk Maleness vs. Manhood 

Will Smith shares what healthy manhood means to him and how his daughter Willow helped him discover his feelings and understand how he was performing his masculinity.

LEARN MORE →

Dear James,

We were thrilled to see so many of you on yesterday''s Community Conversation, where we talked about how to create equity within our organizations and workplaces. The discussion was deep and it was energizing. If you missed it, you can watch here.

The transformation happening globally right now is impacting every one of us. We all have a platform to create change in our communities — whether we''re involved in an organization or business, or we''re parents, teachers, or coaches. We have an opportunity right now to use our sphere of influence to build a more equitable society — and that''s why I''m writing today to invite you to join us at at our upcoming training institutes. 

Seats are filling for this fall — we have just a couple of seats left for next week (half days on Aug. 13th and 14th), and a few more for dates throughout the fall.

Will you join us?

These workshops begin with a deep historical analysis of power and intersectional oppression, and we explore together how the collective socialization of men is at the root of all violence and discrimination against women and LGBQ, trans, and gender nonconforming people. We then work with you to plan how we can all use a community organizing approach to make change.

If you’ve already experienced our training institute, please take a minute to encourage someone within your network to attend. 

This is a very difficult time, but it''s also a time ripe with opportunity for rebirth and reinvention. 

We hope to see you soon,

Tony Porter
CEO, A CALL TO MEN

P.S. The conversation has been lively lately in the our Healthy Manhood Facebook group — we''d love to see you there soon. 

Dear James,

I''ve been the father to six Black children over the last 35 years, and I''m sad to say that the conversations I have with them about race have not changed. 

I had the same conversations about being Black in America with my oldest as I did with my youngest. And I’m finding ways to help my daughter have that conversation with my grandson. It’s the same talk my dad had with me. The same for generations — and it breaks my heart.

This is a moment of profound pain for many of us, and I appreciate all of you who have stepped up in support of racial justice. Community means so much at a time like this — and I''m hoping to see your faces tomorrow (Weds.) at 1 p.m. ET when we open up a loving virtual space to connect and share on a Zoom call focused on raising Black children amidst racial trauma. 

I wrote about this topic in a post yesterday, and I''ll be interviewing two exceptional Black parents on the call — my A CALL TO MEN colleague Ted Bunch and North Carolina Coalition Against Sexual Assault Executive Director Monika Johnson-Hostler. RSVP to join us.

We must be doing something right as parents, however, because one ray of hope in this difficult time has been seeing our teens and 20-somethings showing up in massive numbers and speaking out for justice. Many protests and reform movements right now are led by young people, and it''s incredibly inspiring. They are the future of the movement to dismantle oppression.

And one of the best things we can do to support youth-led activism is to get out of the way. Last year we supported a group of youth in launching Youth ACT!, which centers the voices of young people in New York to promote healthy masculinity, healthy relationships, and prevent gender-based violence. The group is planning a call by and for young people on Youth and Racial Justice on Friday, June 12th, from 4:30–6:00 p.m. ET. Young people can RSVP to join — please share the link with your networks.

In solidarity,

Tony Porter
CEO, A CALL TO MEN

P.S. Our Virtual Institute for July is now sold out, but we just announced new dates in August and September. Reserve your seat now or connect with us to design a custom workshop for your company, organization, or community. 

Dear James,

The single most inspiring element of this charged moment in the movement to dismantle gender and racial injustice is that in so many communities and organizations, young people are taking the lead. I am inspired and excited to see how the next generation will shape the world.

At A CALL TO MEN, we’re 100% committed to centering the voices of young people. So, with the help of our youth council — YouthACT! — we’re planning a special training for the fall for young people only. We’ll focus on our signature community organizing approach to dismantling intersectional oppression.

But we need your partnership to make this work. We need to raise $15,000 by July 30th — next Thursday — to continue building our youth program. We''re committed to making every seat in this fall''s training free for young leaders, and we''re just getting started.

Every dollar you give today will go to support our work with young leaders. Will you donate today to join us in investing in the next generation? 

Young leaders have been at the core of every major reform movement in American history, and this moment is no different. For those of us who have been in this work for decades, it’s our responsibility to lift up their voices and create a place for them. I hope you’ll join me.

We’re so grateful to have you with us in this work. 

Thank you,
Tony Porter
CEO, A CALL TO MEN

Highlighting stories each month about men and boys choosing to promote healthy manhood and working to advance gender equality.

Former Gang Member Named Teacher of the Year in Missouri

Darrion Cockrell, or Mr. DC as his students call him, credits other educators and mentors for helping him create a different world than the gang life he knew. One special father figure and Black role model changed his life: "He taught me it''s OK to be tough, but at the same time it''s OK to be compassionate." 

WATCH HIS INSPIRING STORY HERE →

Highlighting stories each month about men and boys choosing to promote healthy manhood and working to advance gender equality.

The Dad Gang is Shattering Stereotypes of Black Dads 

What started as an Instagram account has grown into a movement of Black dads and thousands of beautiful images showing fatherhood in action. Data show that the majority of Black fathers live with their children and they are more likely to feed, bathe, diaper, dress, and play with their children than white or Hispanic dads.

LEARN MORE →

Will you partner with us to advance equity?

When Covid-19 caused us to cancel most of our in-person trainings, we quickly pivoted our trainings online, but we need your help to keep it going. We''re a nonprofit on a tight budget, and our monthly donors make it possible for us to offer free resources and gatherings and scholarships for grassroots organizers to attend our trainings. 

Will you become a core supporter today — at $10 per month — to help us reach more people with our transformative online trainings?

Dear James,

I hope you and your community are staying healthy and safe in these difficult times. I''m reaching out to invite you to join our next check-in call tomorrow and to share some upcoming opportunities.

We''re gathering on a video call tomorrow to talk about healthy manhood and mental health with Justin Baldoni, and I hope you''ll join us. I wrote a post about this issue yesterday and have been hearing from many of you that a discussion of men and mental health is sorely needed right now. 

Tomorrow is also Denim Day — a global day of awareness focused on ending sexual violence — so I hope you''ll join me in wearing your best denim for the call (who''s got a denim shirt or jacket ready for Zoom?).

Here are the details about tomorrow''s convening and our other upcoming calls: 

• RSVP here to join us for our call tomorrow (Weds) at 1 p.m. ET on healthy manhood and mental health. 
• We''ll be hosting these calls every two weeks. On Weds., May 13th, we''ll be talking about how COVID-19 is affecting communities of color and how we can foster resilience with Super Bowl champ Michael Bennett. RSVP to make sure you get the dial-in details for all of the calls in your inbox. 

And we''ve got more ways for you to connect with the diverse community of folks working to promote healthy manhood and end gender-based violence. 

• Join more than 230 folks in the active discussion on our new Healthy Manhood Facebook Group. 
• We have been hearing from so many of you requesting more in-depth trainings — our May Institute is sold out, but we''re adding more dates as fast as we can — and our team is available to design custom trainings for organizations and community groups. Reserve your spot in our June 2nd & 3rd institute now, or get in touch about creating a custom training.
• And please connect with us anytime at info@acalltomen.org if you have ideas for ways we can collaborate or feedback for our team. Our (virtual) doors are always open.

Thank you for being in community with us,

Tony Porter
CEO, A CALL TO MEN

Highlighting stories each month about men and boys choosing to promote healthy manhood and working to advance gender equality.

Because We All Need Joy During This Extremely Challenging Time... 

These daddy-daughter photos are sure to make you smile! Texas Dad Casey Fields said, "I''ll do anything for my daughter," as he donned a matching tutu for his photoshoot with one-year-old Lyla.

LEARN MORE →

Dear James,

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and we were thrilled to connect with so many of you on our call last week with Justin Baldoni and Dwight Hollier. If you missed it, you can watch the video here. 

We have several more great conversations planned — we hope to see you at each of them. We are committed to creating intentional space to connect and grow in this new reality — giving folks a chance to check in on video calls, and to engage with leading thinkers and voices on the many sides of healthy manhood. 

Tomorrow, Friday May 8th, from 5-6 p.m. ET, we’ll share a brave space hosted by and for young people to discuss the current world state through the lens of misogyny and gender-bias, and how we can promote healthy manhood. RSVP to join us »

Next Wednesday, May 13th from 1-2 p.m. ET, we’ll be talking about the impact of Covid-19 on communities of color with special guest Michael Bennett (below) and A CALL TO MEN trainers Kalimah Johnson and Joseph Maldonado. RSVP here to get the Zoom dial-in info

And on May 27th, we’ll be joined by actor and activist Matt McGorry for a discussion on using pop culture to address critical social issues. RSVP here »

Finally, our Virtual Training Institute for June 2nd and 3rd is filling up. In two collaborative half-day sessions, we''ll focus on helping participants lay the groundwork for the social change and violence prevention in our communities and cultures. We are able to offer seats for $100 per participant thanks to generous support from the NBA. Reserve your seat here, or connect with our team to learn more about custom trainings for companies, schools, and community organizations of all sizes. 

Thank you for being in community with us,

Tony Porter
CEO, A CALL TO MEN

Dear James,

Today is Giving Tuesday and I''ll get right to the point.

A donation to A Call to Men today means taking a stand against violence. It means addressing gender inequality and racial injustice at their root. It means committing to building a new world and nurturing a new kind of masculinity. 

Please consider making your gift before midnight — every gift will be matched dollar for dollar, and new monthly gifts will be matched for six months.

We couldn’t do our work advancing healthy manhood without the generous support of folks like you. Please consider giving what you can right now — your contribution today will go twice as far, and it’s an investment in the end of violence against all women and girls.

Thank you,

Tony Porter
CEO, A Call to Men

P.S. Remember, every dollar you give today will be matched, and your donation is 100% tax deductible. Please give right now »

Dear James,

The coronavirus crisis continues to affect us all in so many different ways. It’s a difficult time, and I’m sending love to you and your family right now.

I have to admit, though — I can’t help but cringe every time I hear someone say that this virus is “a great equalizer.” That’s not exactly true. As Damian Barr wrote recently, we’re all in the same storm, but we’re not in the same boat. “Some are on super-yachts. Some have just the one oar.”

And my people — Black people — are among those with one oar. Structural racism is the reason Black folks are more likely than others in the U.S. to contract this virus, and more likely to die. 

I wrote a post about this topic this week on Medium — I hope you’ll read and share it. And I’ll be talking about this topic with Super Bowl Champion Michael Bennett tomorrow on zoom. Will you join us?

Michael and I will be joined by two brilliant A CALL TO MEN trainers, Kalimah Johnson and Joseph Maldonado. We’ll discuss Covid-19’s impact on women of color, on the Latinx community, and how we can deal with grief and foster resilience. As always, we’ll hold space for members of the community to check in and to engage in discussion with our guests. 

We hope to see you tomorrow, and at our other upcoming virtual events.

In solidarity,

Tony Porter
CEO, A CALL TO MEN
 

Dear James,

We’re sending along a quick note to share some exciting updates for you — new A Call to Men gear, new men''s circles launching, 2021 training institutes, and our upcoming Book of Dares!

We just released a new A Call to Men T-shirt and hoodie — get yours now! 

And if you’re ready to help us spread the word about healthy manhood — make a new monthly donation of $25 or more this week and we’ll send you a free T-shirt. 

Our new book — The Book of Dares — comes out Jan. 5th. It’s packed with 100 inspiring, fun, challenging dares helping boys ages 8-12 live authentically, increase their emotional literacy, and develop a healthier idea of manhood.

Watch actor and activist Evan Rachel Wood discuss the book with author Anna Marie Johnson Teague on Instagram, and pre-order your copy today.

Circles of Influence — Launching in January
Our new men''s circles launch in January — and they''re filling up fast. Are you ready to join a supportive, diverse group of 10 male-identified folks ready in shared commitment to #healthymanhood? Grab your spot in this 10-week program right now »

2021 Institutes for Gender & Racial Justice
If you’ve never experienced our signature training, now is the time to mark your calendar to join us for two half-days in 2021. This hands-on workshop is great for folks just starting their work in anti-oppression education and organizing, as well as for more experienced practitioners. Reserve your spot for a 2021 training today.

• Feb. 25-26
• May 13-14
• Aug. 12-13
• Nov. 18-19

Gift idea: If you''d like to buy a seat in one of our 2021 trainings for a loved one, a community member, or a colleague — we invite you to gift a training (or membership for a 10-week circle) here. 

Thank you for continuing to grow with us,

The A Call to Men team

P.S. We are always looking for your input and feedback as we develop new resources, trainings, and partnerships. Please reach out anytime at info@acalltomen.org to let us know how we can support you.

Dear James,

My son Jalen came out to me as gay when he was 15 years old. His mom and I were not surprised by this news, and we were ready to receive and celebrate him with open arms as he embraced his full and authentic self. 

I wasn''t as prepared, however, for all the ways my own heterosexist conditioning would emerge. Even though I have devoted my life to promoting healthy manhood, I learned through this experience how deep and how powerful my Man Box socialization is, and how much I had to unlearn. Just like allyship is a practice we must refine everyday, parenting is a process — and I for one am always working on improving.

I''m looking forward to discussing these experiences with you all on Wednesday, where we''ll be joined by two great guests — Actor Matt Walsh, who will share about his experiences as the parent of a gender nonconforming child, and Skyler, a Peer Educator at The Center for Anti-Violence Education. We''ll discuss parenting tips for talking about all types of gender roles with your children – and we''ll hear from young people on how they are crafting a world where "traditional" gender norms no longer put us in boxes.

Will you join us Wednesday at 1 p.m. ET?

This one-hour call is free and open to everyone. There will be time and space to add your voice, but we''re also happy to have you just listen in. Please RSVP here to get the dial-in details by email — and share the link and graphic with your networks. We know there are lots of folks out there who should be a part of this discussion.

It promises to be an incredible conversation. I hope to see you there.

In solidarity,

Ted Bunch
Chief Development Officer, A CALL TO MEN

Dear James,

It''s back-to-school time in one of the most challenging years in a century.

I''m hearing from so many educators, coaches, and parents that teens and young people are struggling. And Black and brown youths are dealing with the compounding traumas of overt racism, violence, and political upheaval. It''s a lot. We need to come together as a community to support our young people (and ourselves). 

This is why we''re hosting an open, honest gathering tomorrow with three wonderful leaders discussing how we can center gender and racial justice — and healing — with our teens in this moment. This community conversation is free and open to all on zoom. I hope to see you there.

I published a new post this morning outlining some action steps for parents and caregivers right now. I hope you find this useful and that you''ll share it with your networks. You can find the graphic below on our Instagram feed and on Facebook. 

RSVP here to join our call tomorrow. We hope to see you.

Together we can endure these challenges and emerge stronger,

Tony Porter
CEO, A CALL TO MEN

Dear James,

We are living in a monumental, historic moment. One that our children’s children will learn about in school. A reckoning. A great awakening for many. And an opportunity for everyone to face systemic inequity and injustice with courage, resolve, and a commitment to change. 

The fact that you''re receiving this email means that you''re committed to anti-oppression work. I''m so glad you''re here. Are you ready to take the next step together? 

This is the moment for ALL of us to use our platforms to lift up the voices of the oppressed and those fighting to dismantle these generations-old systems and build something new. Something beautiful.

So let''s get to work. We''ll be coming together on a free, open video call tomorrow (Weds 6/24) at 1 p.m. ET to discuss how we all have a role as aspiring allies for racial and gender justice. RSVP here to get the dial-in details.

We''ll be joined on tomorrow''s call by two men who set a shining example of how we can each use our platforms to advance justice and equity. Glen Mazzara is a writer and producer on shows including The Walking Dead and The Shield and has been instrumental in educating television writers on issues of healthy manhood, diversity and inclusion, equality, and gender equity. Shan Foster is a former collegiate and professional basketball player who has dedicated his life to engaging men in healthy manhood and ending gender-based violence. I can''t wait to get deep into conversation with these two leaders — and with you.

There''s so much energy and movement right now, but there''s also a lot of talk. We will be intentional on tomorrow''s call that we focus on concrete actions we can all take as aspiring allies. I wrote about this in a new post today and shared these six steps:

1. Work to understand your privilege and use it for good. Educate yourself. We have a growing list of racial justice resources for folks of all ages. 
2. Listen to those most affected. Seek to understand their lived experience. Stretch yourself and your ability to be empathetic. 
3. Accept that you will be uncomfortable. That discomfort is where growth happens. 
4. Use your platform (in the workplace, at home, on social media) to elevate the voices of people who experience racism.
5. Speak up when you have an opportunity to dispel a racist myth or a discriminatory comment.   
6. Support antiracist policies that have the potential to create systemic change.

We hope to see you tomorrow.

In solidarity,

Tony Porter
CEO, A CALL TO MEN

P.S. We''re thrilled that so many of you are planning to join us for our two-day Virtual Institute. Our July session is sold out. Seats in our August and September institutes are filling up. These trainings focus on building the skills needed to organize against intersectional oppression. And thanks to support from the NBA, we''re able to offer seats in these sessions for $200 per participant. Reserve your seat now or connect with us to design a custom workshop for your company, organization, or community. 

Dear James,

We''re so excited to share some big news with you. We''ve been hard at work behind the scenes on a new book for boys ages 8-12, and we''re finally ready to share! The Book of Dares will be published by Penguin Random House on January 5, 2021 and it''s available for pre-order now.

Our new book is a collection of 100 "dares" inviting boys to be kind, bold, and brave — and to practice and create the next generation of manhood. We hope you''ll take a look and pre-order your copy today.

Parents of boys are confronted with terms like “toxic masculinity” and “male privilege” and the headlines are dominated with stories about men behaving badly. But being a boy is a wonderful thing. To make every boy’s lived experience the best it can be, we have to be intentional about encouraging their authenticity, helping them develop empathy, educating them on healthy relationships, promoting emotional literacy, and supporting social-emotional learning.

The Book of Dares is grounded both in practical parenting strategies and 20-years of A Call to Men’s work with men and boys to promote healthy manhood, authenticity, and gender equity. We know that healthy manhood is the solution. It’s the antidote for some of the most destructive problems in our society. We’ve turned pillars of healthy manhood into 100 dares that support boys’ authenticity and advance gender equity. Sample dares in the book include:

•  Dare to prove a stereotype wrong
•  Dare to watch a movie about someone who''s different from you
•  Dare to ask a friend to teach you something they''re good at
•  Dare to be a leader

The book is based on our decades of work with young people and our Live Respect curriculum for middle and high schools. Please let us know if you have any questions about the book or if you''re interested in planning an event around the book for your school or community.

Thank you for everything you''re doing to encourage healthy masculinity and authenticity in young boys.

Ted Bunch and Anna Marie Johnson Teague
A Call to Men

Dear James,

I can''t wait to come together with members of the A Call to Men community tomorrow, and I hope you''ll join us. 

It''s an historic week for every one of us working to advance gender equity worldwide. I wrote this morning about what the election of a female vice president means for achieving gender equity. It''s our job as men to lift up the leadership of accomplished women — especially when they are BIPOC. It''s our job to celebrate their success, to honor and respect their power, to listen to them, to learn from their experience.

And there''s so much more to discuss. We''ll mark Veterans Day together, and we''ll talk about how another worldwide spike in the global pandemic is impacting each of us.

We''ll be focusing tomorrow on how each of us can use our platforms to promote the practice of healthy manhood in times like these, and we''ll be joined by two men who do this every day — former NFL player Mark Herzlich and Premier Lacrosse League player and leader Kyle Harrison. 

We''re meeting tomorrow — Weds. Nov. 11th — from 1-2 p.m. ET. It''s free to join and open to all. RSVP here and we''ll send you the dial-in info.

Thank you for being a part of this community. I hope to see you tomorrow,

Tony Porter
CEO, A Call to Men

Highlighting stories each month about men and boys choosing to promote healthy manhood and working to advance gender equality.

Adorable Toddler Offers the Motivation We All Need in 2020

Let "You Can Do It" be your anthem to close out 2020. 

WATCH HERE →

Dear James,

This year has been fraught with so many challenges, but I have no doubt that we’re at an inflection point right now. I’ve been doing this work for 20 years and I’ve never seen the energy and momentum for the next generation of manhood that I’m seeing today. 

We know that the practice of healthy manhood is the path to end violence against women and girls. We know we have work to do to achieve gender justice and racial justice, and we can’t have one without the other. We’re ready to continue leading during the transformative year ahead, but if we’re going to make this happen I need you to be 100% with me.

Are you ready to take a leadership role in this movement by making a donation right now? 

We have a rare opportunity right now for Giving Tuesday. A generous group of our supporters have committed to matching every gift through midnight Tuesday. If you’re able to commit to a monthly gift, they’ll match your first six months. (We love our monthly supporters because we can rely on their support as we plan new trainings, new curriculum for young folks, and so much more).

Can you chip in today?

Your partnership means so much to us. Thank you.

Tony Porter
CEO, A Call to Men

Dear James,

One of the countless intersecting dangers of the Coronavirus crisis has been a spike in porn usage. 

Porn sites have reported increases in traffic, and have even offered free accounts in some impacted countries. This means that not only are we more socially isolated than we were before, but far too many of us — especially men — are turning more than ever to dangerous content portraying and celebrating the objectification of women and normalizing violence against women and girls. 

I wrote about this disturbing trend in a new post today, and it’ll be a focus of our next open community conversation — next Wednesday, April 15th, at 1 p.m. ET. We’ll be joined by Garrett Jonsson of Fight the New Drug and A CALL TO MEN trainer Jeff Matsushita. I hope you''ll join us.

The way I see it, the Coronavirus crisis presents both a grave danger and an opportunity for our understanding and performance of masculinity and manhood. We could see boys and men revert to Man Box behaviors — guarding and hiding their emotions, failing to invest in relationships, and insisting on solitary leadership — or we could seize this moment to evolve toward a practice of healthy manhood. We’re seeing signs of each direction — and I want to ask you to join us in our mission of guiding the men and boys in our lives — sons and fathers, neighbors and colleagues, and even our leaders — toward the practice of healthy manhood. 

Please consider joining us next week, or on another upcoming call or training as we commit to changing the culture together.

April 15th at 1 p.m. ET — Community Conversation: A Discussion of pornography and parenting, and time for an open share about how you''re doing in this difficult time. RSVP to join us »

April 29th at 1 p.m. ET — Community Conversation: We''ll be announcing some incredible guests next week who will join us to discuss healthy manhood and mental health in this crisis. RSVP to join us »

May 14 & 15 — Our Virtual Training Institute will activate a grassroots movement promoting healthy manhood and addressing male domination and the intersections of oppression that contribute to gender-based violence. Space is limited and seats are filling up, reserve your seat here »

Thank you for being in community with us,

Tony Porter
CEO, A CALL TO MEN

Highlighting stories each month about men and boys choosing to promote healthy manhood and working to advance gender equality.

Charles Blow Uses His Platform to Dispel Harmful Myths about COVID-19

The New York Times columnist writes "this virus behaves like others, screeching like a heat-seeking missle toward the most vulnerable in society. And this happens not because it prefers them, but because they are more exposed, more fragile, and more ill." 

LEARN MORE →

Dear James,

Music, movies, shows, and video games create and define so much of our culture. Our young folks are always learning from their screens and their earbuds — perhaps now more than ever.

Our media channels present so many opportunities to learn and grow, but the bright spots are often overshadowed by violence, misogyny, and other destructive teachings. It''s complex.

I just published a new post about this — I hope you''ll read it and share your feedback. And we''ll be coming together as a community to discuss this topic tomorrow on Zoom with actor and activist Matt McGorry. We hope to see you there — RSVP here to get the Zoom details in your inbox tomorrow morning.

We hope to see you tomorrow.

In solidarity,

Tony Porter
CEO, A CALL TO MEN

P.S. We''re partnering with organizations and communities — including advocacy groups, companies, schools, and civic groups — to design and develop custom virtual workshops during this pandemic.

These sessions can be anywhere from two hours to two days and can focus on creating healthy, inclusive workplaces or laying the groundwork for the grassroots movement to address male domination and the intersections of oppression that contribute to gender-based violence. Our online training modules meet general requirements for all 50 states with compliance versions specific to NYC/NY and CA.

If you''re interested in learning more about these workshops, get in touch here.

James,

This is a difficult time for all of us, and the COVID-19 crisis is likely to impact our lives and our communities for the foreseeable future. A CALL TO MEN is working with event organizers and attendees to update them on the status of all in-person events and trainings through May. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you have a question about an upcoming event.

And we also want to call on everyone in our community to step up — and all of those who are male-identifed to step outside of the Man Box — during this crisis. Because in times of crisis, practicing healthy manhood becomes even more important than ever. 

Those of us who identify as men have received countless messages all of our lives — overt and subtle — that being a man means “being in control.” We’ve been socialized to avoid showing vulnerability at all costs, never to ask for help, and to devalue the voices of women. These “Man Box” traits are dangerous all the time, and they’re even worse during a global crisis.

This is a moment for us to take a deep breath and be aware of the ways we’ve been conditioned to shun help, to hide vulnerability. These “Man Box” traits can be deadly at a time like this — let’s commit together to break out of the box and take care of ourselves and each other:

Listen to the experts — Too often, we see men ignore advice because they want to be the expert. This is a time to listen to and heed public health experts. Your community depends on it.

Ask for help if you need it — If you’re feeling sick, call your doctor. If you need help with child care, with anxiety, with anything, don’t hesitate to ask for it. Strong people know when they need help.

Share your emotions — We’re all anxious right now. It’s ok to be open about how you’re feeling. It will help you connect with others. If you keep your emotions bottled up, they’re likely to manifest in other ways — like anger. 

Be a leader, and a teammate — Leadership is essential in times of crisis, but leadership doesn’t mean “do it my way.” Leadership means listening, understanding, and serving as a calm guide. 

Connect with your community — Don’t let physical distancing mean social isolation. Make the effort to connect on video with friends and family. Check in on vulnerable friends — and “strong” friends, too. Show up (safely) — both for them and for you. 

Rest and recharge — You’re no use to anyone if you’re exhausted or frazzled. Take time to take care of yourself and stay healthy. Get eight hours of sleep. Get some exercise. Your community needs you healthy right now more than ever. 

Parent with compassion — Parents are being called upon to guide our children through unprecedented times right now. We urge you to listen to your children’s needs and to show up as a parent. They need you now. 

It''s clear that this outbreak, like so many things, will have an outsized impact on marginalized communities. And we know that violence against women and girls often spikes during times of isolation, and home isn’t safe for everyone. We urge you to support your local violence intervention and prevention organizations and support vulnerable individuals in your community.

We’ll be in touch again soon with more updates,

Tony Porter and the A CALL TO MEN team

P.S. — If you want to share this post with your community, please feel free to forward this email or link to our blog — or to share the graphic below on Instagram. Thank you.

Highlighting stories each month about men and boys choosing to promote healthy manhood and working to advance gender equality.

New Film Prompts Conversations about Sexual Assault and Consent

Kudos to actor and filmmaker Michael Cory Davis for using his platform and influence to produce The Conversation, a film that takes an uncomfortable look at dating violence and pushes for greater understanding of consent.  

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Dear James,

I hope this note finds you and your loved ones healthy and safe. This has certainly been a different summer than many of us expected — it''s a time of loss and grief, but also a time of social transformation. I''m so grateful for everyone in this community who has stood with us as we have navigated these turbulent times.

As fall approaches and schools reconvene (in one way or another), and our organizations and businesses navigate constant change, I''m reaching out to invite you to schedule time to deepen your commitment to advancing healthy manhood in your community and in the world.

First, my friend and colleague Ted Bunch will be joining actor Milana Vayntrub for an Instagram live discussion tomorrow (Weds. Aug. 26th) at 6 p.m. ET. You can follow her and join the conversation tomorrow at @mintmilana.

Next, our Community Conversations will be monthly this fall, covering topics from education to philanthropy to building our personal influence. All dates are below, and you can RSVP for them all here to get dial-in info.

Weds., Sept. 9, 1 p.m. ET — Supporting Youth and Teens as We Go Back to School featuring LIVERESPECT and YouthACT!

Weds., Oct. 7, 1 p.m. ET — How Philanthropy Can Create a More Just World Post-Pandemic, with Ana Olivera, President and CEO, New York Women’s Foundation and Suzanne Lerner, Co-Founder and President, Michael Stars, Inc.

Weds., Nov. 11, 1 p.m. ET — Using Your Platform and Influence, with former NFL player Mark Herzlich

And for those of you who haven''t taken our signature two-day institute yet, we would love to have you join us this fall. Our Virtual Training Institutes have been sold out all spring and summer, and they''re filling for the rest of the year. In these participatory sessions, we focus on building the movement promoting healthy manhood through actions that address male domination, white supremacy, and the intersections of oppression that contribute to gender-based violence. 

Learn more about the workshop and reserve your seat here.

We hope to see you this fall, and we hope you always feel free to reach out to us at info@acalltomen.org with any questions or feedback.

In solidarity,

Tony Porter
CEO, A CALL TO MEN

Dear James,

Some of my most uplifting moments during these difficult recent months have been during the biweekly Community Conversations we''ve been having with so many of you from all over the world. It has been heart-filling to see your faces on my screen and hear the amazing stories and insights you''ve been sharing.

We''re gathering again on Wednesday, and I hope you''ll join us. We have the honor of welcoming three incredible women into the space to discuss how we can center the voices of women living at the margins of the margins in our collective work to end gender-based violence and dismantle all forms of oppression.

This one-hour call is free and open to everyone. There will be time and space to add your voice, but we''re also happy to have you just listen in. Please RSVP here to get the dial-in details tomorrow by email — and share the link and graphic with your networks. We know there are lots of folks out there who should be a part of this discussion.

A CALL TO MEN''s Director of Community Engagement, Lina Juarbe Botella, will facilitate a conversation with:

• Afua Addo, Deputy Director of Training & Programs at the Perception Institute 
• Claudia Chan, founder and CEO of S.H.E. Summit
• Rebecca Balog, Coordinator, Minnesota Indian Women''s Sexual Assault Coalition

It promises to be an incredible conversation. I hope to see you there.

In solidarity,

Tony Porter
CEO, A CALL TO MEN

P.S. If you''ve been coming to these calls, we hope you''re ready to take the next step by committing to our two-day Training Institute. 

Our July sessions are sold out, but we still have some seats in our August and September workshops — reserve your spot now. This is a great training for community organizers, corporate changemakers, civic leaders, and anyone ready to invest in taking action to dismantle oppression by creating a world where all women and girls are valued and safe and all men and boys are loving and respectful. Reserve your seat now or connect with us to design a custom workshop for your company, organization, or community. 

Dear Community,

The Coronavirus is causing massive global disruption — and has postponed A CALL TO MEN’s upcoming in-person trainings and gatherings for the spring of 2020. But we know that our community relies on us and our training is needed now more than ever. We are working to provide tools for connection, community, and education — and we hope you’ll join us.

Join our Community Call on Wednesday, March 25th at 1 p.m. ET
We’ll create intentional space to connect during this difficult time, to talk about how the teachings of the Man Box affect us in times of crisis, and how we can work together to prevent violence against all women and girls. RSVP here for our free community call » 

Schedule a custom virtual training for your organization
We’re hearing from many organizations interested in hosting custom virtual trainings and workshops for their teams. We’re ready to help with any of the following — from a one-hour session to a multi-day institute. Get in touch with our team here. 

• Healthy Manhood Workshops — Engaging men in the work to prevent violence against all women and girls and to pursue gender equity — including compliance trainings for workplaces.

• Keynotes & Panels — Our founders and team are available to join virtual events focused on violence prevention, gender equity, and men’s work.

• Middle School, High School & College Trainings – We are offering our LIVERESPECT Curriculum training and Title IX sexual assault prevention trainings

Join our two-day Online Training Institute — May 14 & 15 Noon - 4 p.m. ET
We will be offering our signature Institute online in May for a limited group of participants. The training focuses on collaborating to build the global grassroots movement promoting healthy manhood and addressing male domination and the intersections of oppression that contribute to gender-based violence. Register now — space is limited.

Share resources for survivors and marginalized communities
We know that millions of people live in unsafe conditions — and that these folks will be the most impacted by this crisis. Our friends at NNEDV are maintaining a library of resources for survivors and service providers. We’re sharing resources on Twitter as we find them — if you have a good resource to share please tweet them to us @acalltomen.

In solidarity, 

Tony Porter
CEO, A CALL TO MEN

Dear James,

We’re writing today for two reasons.

First of all, we want to say thank you. As members of the A Call to Men board of directors, and as passionate advocates of healthy manhood, we are closing this year feeling deep gratitude to every one of you who used your voice and your platform this year to prevent violence against women and to pursue gender equity. Despite the unprecedented challenges this year has thrown at us, we’re feeling optimistic because a new normal is emerging, one built on equity and centering the voices of marginalized communities. You’re making that happen.

Secondly, we’re writing to ask you to make a big leap with us this holiday season by investing in the work of A Call to Men. The pandemic has made the inequality in our society even more apparent, and we believe that if you are in a position to be generous, now is the time to take a stand for equity — and against violence.

The team at A Call to Men works incredibly hard to reach as many boys and men as they possibly can with trainings on healthy manhood and gender equity — and your gift can amplify this impact right now. A group of donors is doubling gifts through tomorrow night, so your donation today goes twice as far.​

Your gift of $50 will be DOUBLED to provide a free Live Respect certification for an educator »

Your gift of $100 will be DOUBLED to provide a free seat in our two-day training »

Your gift of $300 will be DOUBLED to provide training for three youth organizers » 

Through Mark’s years in the NFL and Danielle’s service in the U.S. Army and the New Jersey National Guard, we have seen up close how being stuck in the Man Box can harm men’s mental health and can create unhealthy environments in organizations and communities. And we have seen countless times how A Call to Men’s powerful training can transform lives and can equip organizers and leaders with the tools to bring change to their networks. 

There’s a major shift happening — a shift toward equity, toward freedom, toward peace — and A Call to Men is leading the way. Will you join us in leading with them?

Wishing you health, happiness, and community this holiday season,

Danielle & Mark Herzlich
Members, A Call to Men’s Board of Directors 

Dear James,

I have to admit, it feels pretty good to put 2020 in our rearview mirror. We still have so much work to do together, of course, but at least we can turn a page in the calendar from that mess of a year. I’m grateful to be here in 2021 with you all.

Most importantly, I want to say thank you. We surpassed our end-of-year goal thanks to the generosity and commitment of so many of you around the world who made an investment in healthy manhood. We appreciate your trust and partnership, and I promise that we’ll work every day to make you proud.

I also feel so grateful to every one of you who joined us for a training or a community conversation over the last year, and everyone who shared our resources and curricula with your community. This doesn’t work without you using your platform to further our collective efforts, and it means so much to us that you’re here with us.

This will be a big year. I can feel it. We’ve been doing this work for two decades, and never before has there been so much momentum for a new kind of manhood. The younger generation isn’t stuck in the Man Box the way our fathers and grandfathers were. More and more boys and men are stepping up and asking how they can contribute to ending violence against women and girls, and to helping the male-identified folks around them live a more authentic life. It’s a beautiful thing.

We have big plans for this year, and we’re lucky to have you with us. We''re ready to start strong. Our new book — The Book of Dares — comes out on Tuesday! Alyssa Milano and Justin Baldoni will join us for our online book launch event on Jan. 12 — you can get a ticket and a signed copy of the book here.

We’ve got more trainings on the calendar than ever before (all online, for now at least). We''ll discuss parenting and more at our first free, open community conversation of the year on Weds. Jan. 13th. We’re launching men’s circles for the first time (we still have a few spots left for Tuesdays and Thursday). More than 700 people are sharing and connecting in our Healthy Manhood Facebook Group. And there is so much more is in the works.

The team here is fired up, and this community has just given us a HUGE boost by helping us meet our end-of-year fundraising goal. I know that healthy manhood is a key to creating a more equitable world, and we can see that world coming into focus. Let’s get there together.

Thank you and happy 2021,

Tony Porter
CEO, A Call to Men

Dear James,

Things look a lot different than they did at the beginning of this year. 

But if the many challenges of 2020 have taught us one thing about picking ourselves back up after a tough blow, it’s the importance of prioritizing self care and community care to foster healing. The Man Box teaches us to cultivate self-sufficiency over empathy and community, and it’s essential that we unlearn these harmful behaviors as we build a more united, compassionate future. 

Our team will work every day in 2021 to reach as many people as we can with the tools to break out of the Man Box. And we need you with us to do it. 

Today is the last day to make your tax-deductible donation — and have every dollar matched. Can you chip in $50 right now?

As we navigate the long road to recovery, we face the essential task of rebuilding our communities to be stronger than they were before this pandemic. We have a unique opportunity in this pivotal moment to create systems that encourage equity instead of reinforcing oppression. To foster inclusiveness and empathy. To dare to imagine a future where everyone feels safe and valued.

Will you join me in continuing to make healthy manhood a priority in 2021 and beyond?

Thank you,

Tony Porter
CEO, A Call to Men

Dear James,

We’re thrilled to announce that our brand new book – The Book of Dares – is now available nationwide! 

We created The Book of Dares as an answer to the many challenges of raising confident, respectful, and empowered boys in today’s world. As parents and anti-violence educators, we know firsthand the types of expectations and pressures our sons face as they grow up. We want to make every boy’s lived experience the very best it can be...which is what inspired us to write The Book of Dares.

This compilation of 100 dares is a fun and challenging way to help boys (and the adults in their lives) think and talk about different experiences that boys go through on their way to manhood. Each of the dares in the book is designed to promote healthy manhood, authenticity, and gender equity in boys. 

Whether you’re a parent, a brother, a coach, a mentor, or a friend – thank you for supporting the boys in your life as they dare to feel confident about who they truly are and learn how to treat people around them with kindness and respect. We hope you enjoy The Book of Dares!

Thank you,

Ted Bunch and Anna Marie Johnson Teague 
Authors, The Book of Dares 

P.S. We’re excited to have Alyssa Milano and Justin Baldoni joining us for our online book launch event on Jan. 12th. At 8p ET / 7p CT / 5p PT. Get a ticket here for $27 and we’ll send you a signed copy of the book.

Dear James,

Wow. It’s incredible to see so many of you stepping up to invest in growing the practice of healthy manhood in 2021 — and to hear all of your resolutions to pursue equity in the year ahead. 

We’re writing to share exciting news — our matching donor has offered to TRIPLE every gift we receive today by midnight. Your support will go three times as far to train boys and men with tools to help them embrace a full range of emotions, to show up for each other and our communities, and to use their platforms to promote equity.

The resolutions we’re hearing from people all over the world are so inspiring.

Here are a few of our favorites so far:

• "I will listen more. I don''t need to be in control of every conversation." — Daniel
• “As a teacher, I''ll be teaching non-violence and how to have a positive self-image.” — Armin
• “I''ll continue teaching my son to own his feelings and express them in healthy ways.” — Nicole

Please consider making your gift right now — this 3x opportunity expires at midnight. 

Thank you,

Tony Porter & The A Call to Men team